Speechless
by Liz Hollow
Summary: Lyra has never spoken a word in her life. Though she's never felt it a handicap, she hates the "test" that everyone forces her through. There's only ever been one person who understands—one person who believes she has a voice even if she can't use it.
1. 1 Present

**Chapter One: Present**

"Speak, Lyra."

I opened my mouth, feeling like a stupid animal being taught tricks. But I was used to this. There was nothing new about being told to talk when I didn't have anything to say—because I couldn't say it, anyway. I had been attending speech therapy for years, a new therapist every year telling me to speak now or forever hold my peace.

And I held it.

Nothing. As always, I was speechless, unable to say anything at all. No noise came out at all; there were no whispers, no mutterings, no noises of any kind. All that came out was air, and I narrowed my eyes at the therapist. He was just as impressive as the rest of them. No one else could get me to speak, so why could he?

Why did my mom even continue to try? I had been fine on my own when I left home; sure, I had run into some obstacles, but I had never considering being mute my handicap. It wasn't as though I couldn't understand and couldn't respond. I had my own language, my own ways to communicate, and I could still think. So, why did I need to speak?

But my mother continued to hire new therapists for me, and to please her, I went to each one. No one ever made any progress, and I never expected them to help me. I was eighteen now; if someone was meant to make me speak, then I would have already. But I was fine the way I was, and I didn't need to speak to be heard.

I tapped my hands against my chest, turned my hands back out with some of my fingers pinched together towards the doctor sitting in front of me, and pointed my index finger at him. The doctor laughed, looking incredibly amused by my admittance, and folded his hands together. Then, leaning towards me, he smiled.

"You hate me already? But we've only just begun." He sat back up and crossed his legs. I narrowed my eyes more, and the therapist laughed again. "It's impressive what you've done, Miss Lyra, with your disability. I will admit that. You've done some wonderful things with your life. But wouldn't you like to tell everyone about those things? Wouldn't you like to speak to your friends and have conversations with them?"

I pointed to myself again, beginning to get angry, brushed my hands away from myself, made fists, and bounced them up and down twice. After leaving home and going on an adventure with my Pokémon, I had acquired many new friends—friends who didn't need to hear my voice to talk with me. And they all liked learning sign language.

"No, you can't," the doctor argued, and I pursed my lips. What did he know about me? None of these therapists could do anything for me because none of them understood me. "You have a preconceived notion of what I can do for you, and that's unfair. I am one of the most prominent doctors in the field of speech therapy in the world. I have healed thousands of mutes. There is even technology available for mutes which can vibrate their vocal chords and force them to speak. Your voice can be found."

I smiled, taking my turn to become amused by his stupidity. I pointed at him before curling my index finger and middle finger together, proceeding to make a "V" with the same fingers and holding them against my forehead. I stuck my tongue out at him, standing up from the uncomfortable wooden chair he had forced me to sit in.

"Well, you are one of the most rambunctious mute girls I have ever met in my life, calling me stupid! How dare you?" The doctor rose to his feet as well, trying to look intimidating and failing. "Feel free to leave if you choose, but you may not come back once you walk through that door. You will lose your opportunity to work with the most recognized speech therapist in the world."

I shrugged, turning around and walking out the door without another thought. I knew the man would be surprised; it probably wasn't often that he was walked out on by one of his patients. Certainly he had never met a mute girl who spoke her mind as easily as me. But I didn't need to speak to do that.

"That was fast. I figured it was a good decision to wait."

Ethan stood up from the steps of the porch, waiting where he was as I walked out of the beautiful estate's front door. I smiled at my friend, happy that I didn't have to text him. It would be awkward storming out of my speech therapy session and then having to sit outside to wait for Ethan to show up. My mom didn't like me to go to any of my sessions without someone with me, just in case I needed to stop somewhere. Most people didn't know sign language.

And yet she had let me go on a journey all by myself. Go figure.

"Went that well, huh?" he asked, and I smiled, nodding. We walked down the steps of the porch together, picking our bikes off from the side of the house. "Hey, just think: the next one can only be better. It's a trend, right? It's been that way with everyone. You always get a person you hate, and then you get a person you don't particularly like but don't dislike either, and… it goes on. Next time will be promising."

I sighed, pausing as I swung my leg over my bike and hopped on. I moved my arms and hands, forming words in my own art form, signing out: _I don't want there to be a next time. I'm tired of doing this._ As I finished my sentence, I rolled my eyes, grabbing my handles and peddling away. There wouldn't be a next time if I had anything to say—or not say—about it.

Once I started moving, the conversation usually ended. I couldn't talk while I was riding my bike, since my hands were a little busy holding me on the contraption, and the conversation would die if I couldn't respond. Ethan usually respected that, keeping his mouth shut because I had to, but on occasion he would talk just to annoy me.

"Well, what else can you do, Lyra? Honestly. It's not like you can go work somewhere that you have to speak and stuff. And, I mean, you can always teach sign language somewhere, but something tells me that you don't really want to do that. I hate to say it, but your options are really limited unless you find a way to talk."

I peddled faster, furrowing my eyebrows in annoyance. Luckily, New Bark Town was only two towns over from where the speech therapist lived, so the ride would be faster than previous ones. But I had been going to speech therapy since I could remember, every year a new doctor because the old one wasn't making a difference. Every year hoping that something magical would happen and one doctor finally would make a difference.

It was probably true that half the reason it didn't work so well for me was because I resisted it so much. Maybe muteness was a hindrance, but I never thought it so bad that I couldn't cope with it. I managed perfectly fine on my own, and honestly, I kind of considered it a part of me. I had never heard my own voice, and I was a little afraid of it. What if my voice didn't match my personality? What if I sounded like a man? What if I sounded like a squeaky little kid?

It was frightening, to say the least, considering all the possibilities of what I could sound like. I didn't want to risk hearing it.

"Lyra! Just because you can't talk doesn't mean you should ignore me!" Ethan called after me, and I smiled at this. "You could always go to another region, you know. I mean, Hoenn, Sinnoh, and Unova are a little far away… but you took down all the Gym Leaders in Johto and Kanto without a problem. Champion Lance, too. If you're looking for something to do, why not go to one of those regions? That could kill some time."

Kill some time? Of my life? Yeah, that sounded like a good idea… because I really wanted to kill some time of my life because I had too much free time. I didn't want to just sit back and waste away like that. I didn't want to have to _kill some time._ I wanted to do what everyone else did… maybe it would be different, but I still wanted it.

But… Ethan did have a point. Who said that I needed to stop at Kanto and Johto just because those two regions were connected? I had the rest of the world to travel to and explore. There was nothing stopping me from going there and trying out their leagues. My Pokémon team was practically unstoppable, anyway. We bonded in a way no one else could. They understood me without words.

"Though, you know… you have permission from Professor Oak to go to Mt. Silver, don't you?" Ethan continued, and I took one hand off the handles to touch the bag hanging off my shoulder. I swerved, grabbing the handle again to steady the bike. "Whoa! Careful there, Lyra! What are you trying to do?"

I narrowed my eyes, focusing on the road in front of me. I wasn't going to slow down to take the time to answer that question. All I had been trying to do was feel the Pokédex in my bag—it was sort of a reminder of everything that had happened. It was true that Professor Oak had given me permission to go to Mt. Silver; the old man had taken something as a likening to me, and he always seemed to be helping me out.

But I just hadn't gotten the chance to make it to Mt. Silver yet. I had always wanted to go, but Professor Oak had told my mother about how dangerous it was, and—though I was eighteen now and old enough to make my own decisions—she refused to let me go by myself. And it wasn't as if I could bring anyone else. Professor Oak had opened it to me, not just everyone and anyone. I couldn't just bring anybody.

So, I hadn't gone. But I had heard rumors of a silent boy there, one who had climbed the mountain and hadn't come back down yet. His mother, who I had met in Pallet Town in Kanto, told me that she didn't know where her own son was, and I sort of admired that freedom. If the boy—Red, or something weird like that—really was up there, then I knew he was at peace. Who was I to go up there and take it from him?

But… if he really was silent—like me—I wanted to talk to him. To tell him through our own language that I understood how he felt, and I knew he would understand me. If Red was really up there, then I couldn't just not see him. And maybe he was waiting for someone to come find him, to keep him from being lonely. Maybe he was stuck up there. No one knew the circumstances. And who better to find out than me?

I smiled, realizing exactly what I needed to do, where I needed to go. Squeezing the brakes on my handlebars, I skidded to a stop on the pavement. Ethan yelled out angrily, jumping off his bike to prevent crashing into me. I laughed an airy laugh, jumping off my bike and running over to hug my best friend. He didn't hug me back.

"What the heck are you doing, Crazy?" he demanded, his eyebrows furrowed and eyes narrowed. I bent down and picked my bike back up, putting out the kickstand and letting it stand on its own.

_You gave me an idea! I'm going to go to Mt. Silver for a little while_, I signed, and Ethan crossed his arms. _My mom might not want me to go, but I need to. I have to go find this guy up there. He can help me. He's apparently been up there for quite some time._

Ethan fidgeted uncomfortably, bending down to pick up his own bike in an attempt to cover up his discomfort, but I still noticed. "What guy?"

I put my index fingers to my top lip, sliding it down towards my chin.

"That missing Champion from Kanto?" Ethan asked, and I nodded. "Well, how do you know that he's actually up there? That's only a rumor, right? I only suggested going to Mt. Silver for, like, a day trip. Catch some Pokémon, explore the caves… just before you go to Hoenn or wherever you decide. It sounds like you're turning this into an… expedition."

I frowned, shaking my head. _Just for a little while. I just need to talk to him._

Ethan kicked a leg over the side of his bike, hopping back onto it and putting one foot on the pedal and his hands on the handlebars. "Whatever you want. Just, you know… don't expect too much, Lyra."

_I never do_, I signed before hopping back onto my bike and continuing the journey back to my home.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I haven't decided whether I'm going to update this at the same time as "Play Mates and Dream Dates" or if I'll wait until after. I mean, if you guys want me to update this with PMDD (like, on a Monday I'd update PMDD, on a Friday I'd update this kind of thing), I can do that. Just let me know.

This will be interesting for me as a writer. Considering my main focus as a writer is dialogue (if you haven't noticed before, dialogue is really my area of expertise), this will be difficult to write. There still is "dialogue", of course—just not as much since Lyra can't be speaking all the time.

Furthermore, this will be kind of an interesting set up. You see this is labeled: "Chapter One: Present". The chapters will alternate between present and past. So, the next chapter will explore Lyra's past in dealing with her muteness.

The sign language in this is American Sign Language (abbreviated ASL), by the way. I didn't think I could learn Japanese Sign Language, haha, considering I don't know the language.

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon.


	2. 2 Past

**Chapter Two: Past**

"You know, it's such a pity that Lyra can't speak. She seems like such a bright girl, and Arceus knows that Ethan would have a much easier time with her if she could. Ethan really adores her, but I think he gets frustrated with her. Heck, I know I would. And it must have been so difficult for you to learn sign language for her."

I put a finger to my lips, signaling for Ethan to be quiet. I didn't want my mommy or Ethan's mommy to notice the two of us hiding around the corner of our house. It was kind of fun, anyhow, like a secret mission. If I could tell that to Ethan, I would, but he didn't know how to read my language. Not many people did.

"Lyra, what are you doing? I want to talk to Mommy!" Ethan cried, and I narrowed my eyes at him. He was gonna get us caught! Stupid boy! It was annoying that I didn't have any girl neighbors my age. I was stuck having play dates with this kid because my mommy was friends with his. Ethan was so stupid, just like all the other boys. He was going to get me sick with cooties, and then I would be really sad.

I grabbed his shirt as he started to run around the corner of the house, pulling him back towards me. He fell on top of me, and I pushed him off, dusting off my new dress as I rose to my feet. Ethan curled his hands into fists, and I continued to glare at him, shaking my head and putting my finger to my lips again. I had seen other people do that, so it wasn't sign language. It was universal!

"You don't think I know that?" I heard my mommy say, and I sat down against the wall of my house. "I get frustrated sometimes, too. And other times I think it's a great thing that she can't speak… she'd be a very sharp-tongued girl if she could. But no… I wish she could speak, too. I signed her up for some speech therapy sessions with a doctor next week. I'm a little concerned I started too late, though. She's already seven."

"I'm sure it will be fine. I've heard that speech therapy is a really valuable thing for mutes to try, and a lot of doctors are successful at making improvements in speech." Ethan's mommy paused, and I glanced back at Ethan to make sure he was still sitting there with me. "Isn't it expensive, though? How are you going to afford this?"

My mommy sighed, and I stuck my fingers in my mouth, biting the nails. "Well, that's a whole other issue that I'm trying not to think about too much. I'm positive that I have enough money saved up for her to go to speech therapy for a few months, but after that… I don't know. I think it's something she needs, though. And her father could always chip in a few hundred dollars, too. If he ever pays child support…"

"I want to go, Lyra," Ethan complained, and I pouted at him. Before I could stop him from getting up, he rose to his feet and ran away from me. I wanted to yell at him, but as I opened my mouth, nothing but air came out. I stood up, stomping my foot angrily on the ground. If my mommy and Ethan's mommy and Ethan got mad at me for not talking, sometimes I was angrier than them. They couldn't listen—I was the one who couldn't talk.

I followed after Ethan, but he had already run over to his mommy and was tugging on her hand. I slowed to a walk as my mommy glanced at me; she knew I had been listening in on her conversation. I lowered my head, guilty, but my mommy just called my name. I sat down on the ground, refusing to move any closer.

"Lyra!" my mommy said sternly, and I crossed my arms where I was, sticking my tongue out. Ethan's mommy laughed at me, and I smiled. Even Ethan giggled at my actions, and I felt proud of myself. "Honestly, Lyra. I don't know what to do with that girl… Lyra, can you please come over here, honey?"

I signed at my mommy that I didn't want to go over, and she crossed her arms, furrowing her eyebrows in annoyance. I didn't like it when my mommy was mad at me, but she never got angry very long. And Ethan's mommy didn't look mad. Ethan squirmed, jumping up and down and tugging at his mommy's hand some more, but she didn't stop smiling.

"Mom! Mom, what did Lyra say?" Ethan looked back at me, and I signed at him, smiling. It was kind of like a secret code! He wouldn't be able to figure out what I was saying if no one told him! So, maybe it was like a girl code… I could tell all the girls at my school, and then the boys would have no idea what we were talking about! Their cooties couldn't get us with my secret sign language! We would be the best!

"She said she didn't want to come here, and then she said that you would never find out what she was saying," my mommy told Ethan, and I stomped my foot again. My mommy was ruining it! Why was she on the boys' side? "Lyra, darling, _please_ stop being like this. I just want you to come over here so we can discuss something. Okay?"

I pouted as I walked towards my mommy, curling my hands into fists and stomping the whole way over to her. Ethan's mommy couldn't stop laughing. But my mommy pulled me onto her lap when I finally made it to her chair, pulling my pigtails out and letting my hair go free. Then, wrapping my hair around my other hairs, she braided my hair.

I loved it when my mommy braided my hair. It felt cool. So, she couldn't be too mad!

Ethan let go of his mommy's hand and jumped in front of my mommy, staring at me as my mommy braided my hair. I stuck my tongue out at him. He was probably really jealous that his hair wasn't long enough to braid! That was why girls were so much better than boys. Boys were dirty and smelly, and girls could be like princesses and braid their hair!

"I wanna know what she's saying, though!" Ethan said, and my eyes widened. I stared up at my mommy, moving my head and messing up one of my braids. I shook my head, ruining my braids even more, and my mommy just took my hair and continued to braid it without saying anything to me. I crossed my arms, staring angrily at Ethan.

Ethan's mommy was being tricked by Ethan's boyishness, too! "I think that would be a lovely idea! Ethan, you can learn how to read and use sign language. It's like learning another language. You could speak the same language as Lyra!" His mommy smiled, and I held my breath. I didn't like that smile anymore.

"Yeah! Yeah, I want to!"

My mommy nodded, finishing my braids and petting my head. "I think that's a wonderful idea. It will give Lyra someone to talk to who isn't me. Won't you like that, Lyra?" My mommy smiled, and I stared at her, shaking my head. "Oh, come now. Ethan, tomorrow, you and me and Lyra are all going to sit down and start sign language lessons."

I wiggled out of my mommy's grip, slithering to the ground and running away around the corner of my house again. I never got anything I wanted! Never, ever! And right now, all I wanted was to be by myself. But _no_… Ethan ran after me and ruined things _again_. Just like he always did. Ethan was only good at ruining things.

"Lyra, this is going to be fun!"

I just stared at him, not bothering to use my secret language to tell him that he was wrong. This wasn't going to be fun. Not at all…

* * *

It didn't take Ethan very long to pick up on the sign language. After two years of lessons—two very long years—Ethan knew all of my secrets. And it was all my mommy's fault for making him take lessons in the first place. Now that he knew what I was saying all the time, he really knew everything! I couldn't hide anything!

And if I had a secret, he would tell my mom.

"Hey! Lyra wants to go on a journey with Pokémon!" he tattled one day, and I flicked him on the cheek, quickly giving myself the cootie shot to prevent the evil bugs from spreading all over my body and making me _die_. "Did you hear that? Lyra wants to leave New Bark Town! And I want a Pokémon, too, if she gets one!"

My mommy just looked at me with wide eyes. That was her _oh-really_ face. It wasn't a good face at all. "She's not getting one, Ethan. It's up to your mother and father whether you get a Pokémon or not, but Lyra can't really handle having her own and going on a journey. It's a part of growing up that she's just going to have to miss, unfortunately. You understand, don't you, Ethan? If your parents let you go, don't be too loud about it, all right?"

I threw my hands out, rising to my feet: _What?_

"Lyra, honey, I'm sorry. But you're not going to be able to communicate with the people necessary to making your trip successful. A lot of children go out and train, but they have voices. None of your speech therapy has been successful yet, and if you got hurt, you wouldn't be able to ask for help. I just can't let you put yourself in danger like that. No Pokémon and no journey. I'm sorry, honey."

I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry really hard! How could my mom be so mean? I just wanted a Pokémon! I just wanted a journey! All I wanted was to be like all the other kids at my elementary school… like Ethan. Ethan's parents were already talking about getting him a Pokémon: a Marill. And I couldn't have anything?

I glared at Ethan, angry that he had blabbed on me. If he hadn't of said anything to my mom, then I wouldn't have been in this situation! I could have just asked Professor Elm to get me a Pokémon without my mommy knowing—not that he would understand me. He was one of those people who couldn't understand my sign language.

Ethan just shrugged at me, and I began to cry, running away from my house and heading out into my backyard to sit on my swing set. Ethan followed me out—like always, ruining everything again—and sat on the swing next to me. He didn't say anything, but instead he began to pump his legs, kicking back and forth. I just sat still on the swing.

"We're only nine. Maybe when we're really old you can get a Pokémon!" Ethan said, and I looked up at him. He had a point, as much as I didn't like to admit it. "My mom didn't get her first Pokémon until she was thirteen. That's really old, but… maybe you can get a Pokémon then! Or when you move out!"

_If I ever move out_, I replied, my hands limp as I signed.

"Are we friends?" Ethan continued, and I looked over at him. He was still pumping away, getting higher and higher. Any higher, and he would go right over the bar and make a full circle. And I would laugh when he fell off.

Finally, I exhaled slowly, raising an eyebrow and asking, _Friends?_

"Yeah. Like… best friends. Because best friends will do stuff for each other that other people wouldn't. And I could… ask Professor Elm for you if you could get a Pokémon. His sign language isn't very good yet, so I thought maybe I would ask for you. But, you know, only if we're best friends. If we aren't, I can't do anything! It's just the rules."

Ethan skidded to a stop, kicking up the fresh grass beneath his swing and replacing the area with dark brown dirt that kind of looked like poop. But I wasn't going to say anything about that—because Ethan had just said something so awesome! He would ask Professor Elm for me! That was worth being best friends with a boy!

So, I nodded, and Ethan smiled. "Cool!"

I had never been so happy that Ethan had learned sign language in my life! And maybe now that he was offering to be my best friend, this could be used to my advantage. A best friend who spoke both languages!

It could work.

* * *

**Author's Note:** This whole chapter… in the POV of a seven-year-old… and a nine-year-old… SO. HARD. Just saying. Writing in the POV of anyone under the age of twelve is, like, ridiculously hard. I have to cut down my vocabulary and make my sentences a bit choppier. And I know there are places where it probably sounds too mature. But oh well.

Next chapter is back to the present! (Thank goodness. And no other past chapters will be in the POV of Lyra at either of these ages.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon.


	3. 3 Present

**Chapter Three: Present**

I packed my bags before I even told my mother what I was planning to do, hiding my duffel under my bed whenever she came into the room. It didn't matter whether she told me yes or no—I was going to Mt. Silver with or without her permission. I knew she wouldn't really appreciate my running off, but this was something I needed to do.

The opportunity of meeting someone just like me was just too great to ignore, and the fact that he was a former Champion, too, was even better. What were the chances that two of the Champions of the Indigo Plateau, in the last ten years, were mutes? It wasn't as if there were millions of Champions—there were four of us: Blue, Red, Lance, and me. And half of us were mute.

It was like it was meant to be.

I didn't even have to meet the boy to know that he was something special, and I was getting really pumped up to meet him. He was the only person on earth who probably understood exactly how I felt, the only person I could ever relate to. I had a voice, and Red had to know that I could use it. We just didn't use it the same way as everyone else.

There was a knock on my bedroom door, and I scrambled to my feet, kicking my bag back under my bed and sprinted over to my computer. Just as I sat down in my desk chair, my mother opened the door, walking into the room with her hands on her hips. If I had to fear anything about my mother, it was this right here: her "mom" look.

"Lyra, honey, why does food keep disappearing from the fridge?" she asked, and I furrowed my eyebrows. Well, all right, it was true that I had been trying to subtly steal some food from the refrigerator; I didn't know how long I was going to be gone, and I figured it was better to be safe than sorry. And I liked eating. Who didn't?

But I couldn't tell my mom that, obviously. Well, I could, but she wouldn't let me go if I did. I was much better off leaving and telling her where I was when I returned. Because if I told her now, she would find some way to contain me to my room, and if I told Ethan to tell her while I was gone, she would probably send someone after me. So, I would just head over to Mt. Silver for a little while, send some quality time with Red, and then return and tell her.

I was eighteen—what could she do, ground me?

_Ethan_, I signed, my special symbol for my best friend's name forming so naturally on my fingers. _You know how much that kid eats_.

Well, all right, blaming it on my best friend probably wasn't the best idea. But a girl had to do what a girl had to do to catch a break. And I wasn't completely lying. First of all, Ethan totally did eat a lot. If a refrigerator was in sight, he was probably at it. It was like he had twenty stomachs, but he was so skinny that it didn't look like it.

And secondly, was it a lie if it wasn't spoken?

But my mother still looked doubtful. "He's not even here. He hasn't been since yesterday, and there was plenty of food when I made dinner last night. What are you hiding?" She walked closer into my room, but I just smiled innocently. As long as she didn't look under my bed, she wouldn't find anything.

I had to admit, it was frustrating that I was treated like such a child when I was technically an adult. In fact, the only reason she had ever let me go off on my journey was because she knew Ethan was going, too. She actually wanted me to go with Ethan, but my best friend and I decided to go at our own paces instead.

It wasn't that my mom was overprotective, but she was just worried about me. And that didn't bother me so much—it was the fact that I felt like I had let her down. I was, after all, her only child, and I couldn't talk. She put so much into trying to get me better, like this was a disease, not a speech disorder, and it wasn't working.

I didn't mind it, so why did she? Sure, it was an easy question to ask, but it was a thousand times harder to answer. Sometimes she looked at me with this sad expression, like she was disappointed that she had given birth to this defected child. And those were the moments I would change everything—give everything up—for a voice. Like maybe my life would be normal, like maybe my mother would be _proud_ of me.

But she would never be proud. Even when I returned home as Champion, she didn't even act like she cared.

Which was why I needed to find Red—I needed to find someone who actually cared.

"Lyra, what are you planning?" my mom asked, her voice hard. I averted her gaze, trying to think of another excuse on the spot. If my mom kept being this persistent, she would never leave my room, and I would never be able to make my escape. I just needed to give her something that she would believe, but after lying, I wasn't sure she would.

So, I stuck out my pinky and index fingers of both my hands, circling my hands twice. Then, I curled my fingers back into my hands, bumping my knuckles together so the bottoms of my palms were touching. Signing Ethan's name last, I looked at my mom expectantly. This, I figured, was a little more believable.

"Camping?" My mom raised her eyebrows. "This weekend? It's supposed to rain."

I shook my head, sticking my pinky and thumbs out from both of my hands and bouncing them once. I unfolded my hands, sliding my right hand over my left arm in a kind of diving motion, my left arm nearly parallel to the ground against my stomach.

My mother crossed her arms, not looking pleased by this. "You've got to be kidding me. Don't you think you should have told me beforehand that you were going camping tonight? This is a little short notice, and I'm not very happy about it." She didn't look it, either. "When were you planning on telling me, Lyra?"

I shrugged in attempt to come off nonchalant about the whole thing. _It was impromptu_, I signed, and my mom narrowed her eyes. _Don't blame me. Ethan was the one who suggested it_. Which, really, all things considered, wasn't entirely a lie. Ethan was the one who suggested I go to Mt. Silver. He just never suggested camping. _We're just going to the campsite in Cherrygrove._

"Well… I'm not very happy that you didn't tell me. But if you want to go, and you'll be with Ethan, then I suppose it's all right." My mom sighed, and I smiled at her. "You should start acting a little more mature, though. Take initiative and responsibility. All right, Lyra? And you should go shopping on your way back from Cherrygrove since you took all of our food. Goodness knows why you need that much food for the two of you…"

She left the room, and I relaxed against my chair. Lying was hard work. I didn't have any idea how people who did it regularly could even handle it, but they were all geniuses. Coming up with even a single good lie was harder than it seemed. But it didn't matter—as long as my mom bought it, it was completely worth it.

So, I didn't have to worry about sneaking out anymore. Later that night, I walked right out the front door, giving my mom a quick wave and heading out. I had warned Ethan that I used him as my scapegoat, thanking him and saying a quick goodbye through a text. He hadn't responded, but I knew he wouldn't mind covering for me.

Or so I thought.

"You're not telling your mom where you're really going?"

I jumped, not expecting to see Ethan standing outside my house. He had clearly been waiting for me to leave, but I just pursed my lips, grabbing a PokéBall from my bag. But before I could send out my Pokémon, he grabbed my wrist. I stared at him, trying to pull my arm away, but he had a firm grip on it that I wasn't getting out of.

"You need to tell someone where you're going—someone other than me. I don't want to be the one to tell your mom or Lance or whomever that you went to Mt. Silver because they'll flip a shit at me. So, you either go tell your mom where the heck you're going," Ethan demanded, "or I'm coming with you."

I yanked my arm away as he loosened his grip, quickly responding, _I can't, and you can't._

He didn't look very pleased with this. But what was he expecting me to say? He wasn't allowed to come with me, and if I told anyone where I was going… well, they wouldn't understand. Professor Oak was the only one I could tell, and I _knew_ he would tell my mom if I told him. So, no one else was allowed to know.

I turned away from him, sending my Fearow out. I climbed on its back before Ethan could stop me, but he didn't have to physically hold me back to make me hesitate this time. He just had to use the power of speech.

"You're planning on coming back, aren't you, Lyra?" His voice was soft, quiet, and I glanced back at him in surprise. "You're not going to… become like Red, are you? Hide up there on Mt. Silver because you don't have anything left back here? You do, Lyra. You know that. You have me left back here…" He paused, and I averted my gaze as he looked up at me. "Lyra."

I just curled my hand and circled it across my chest.

Taking off before he could say anything else, I hugged my Fearow's neck, knowing that I should have given him more of a response than that. But what could I have said? I didn't exactly know what I was doing. Maybe Red knew something that I didn't. I would just have to wait and see—whatever I was going to do, it was still a mystery to me.

I felt bad, though. Flying towards Mt. Silver, I couldn't stop thinking about Ethan. He had, admittedly, always been there for me, even taking the time to learn sign language for me. How many friends would do that? But I hadn't always been the best friend back. He had done so much for me, and I couldn't even give him an answer.

Mt. Silver came into sight as the sun was starting to rise the next morning, and as Fearow set down in front of the Pokémon Center, I knew that I couldn't start my expedition to find Red just yet. I needed to rest a little bit, to clear my mind from all of these things, and then I'd be good to go. Fearow needed a rest, too.

I woke up when it was dark out again, but since I was going inside a cave, it probably didn't matter if it was dark or light out, anyway. Packing my bag back up, I started over to the door when I heard my name. I paused, walking towards the television and seeing my face on the screen. That hadn't happened since I became Champion…

"Oh, Miss Lyra!" the nurse called, and I strained my ears to try to hear the television. But the clicking of the nurse's heels distracted me, and I turned to look at her as she rushed over towards me. "It seems that you've been deemed 'missing'. It just came on the breaking news—ex-Champion Lyra missing on Mt. Silver. Have you run away?"

I grabbed my pen and pad of paper from my bag, scribbling a quick response. _Can't run away if you don't have anything to run from._ The nurse furrowed her eyebrows, and I wrote some more: _No. I'm just climbing the mountain. I might have forgotten to tell my mom, but I don't want anyone to know that I'm really here. I came to avoid being found._

"Like Red?" the nurse asked, and I smiled. Then it _was_ true! Red was definitely here! "Well, I have a feeling that the Johto authorities are going to be here shortly. I'll do my best, but some of them might try to come looking for you. You better go now if you want to make it to the summit, okay? Good luck!"

I nodded, shoving my pad of paper and my pen back into my bag and then hurrying out of the Pokémon Center. I had already been found out? Ethan hadn't wasted any time telling my mom where I was, and clearly my mom hadn't wasted any time making sure that I was okay. Grabbing my PokéGear, I could see that she had already left six messages.

Deleted.

_What are you trying to do? You're the one who suggested I come to Mt. Silver. Are you trying to get me in trouble?_ I wrote to Ethan, sending the message before I could stop myself. I just hoped that I wouldn't regret sending that message later.

He didn't take long to respond. I was nearing the entrance of the cave as my PokéGear rang, and I flipped it open before going in. As soon as I was inside the mountain, I probably wouldn't have any service, so it was now or never if he wanted to talk. And even though he responded, it didn't really sound like he wanted to.

_Still sorry?_ he wrote.

I frowned, snapping my PokéGear shut without responding. Well… I _did_ have him back at home. But if he couldn't understand, either, what else was there to go back to?

* * *

**Author's Note:** I tried to make it unclear until the end—unless you actually know sign language—what the word was that Lyra said to Ethan after he was asking if she was going to come back. I don't know if any of you missed it or didn't pick up on it, but the word was "sorry". That's why Ethan texted her, "Still sorry?"

Aw, Lyra, Ethan just cares about you! And so does your mother! You should be nicer to people! XD Well, fine, go find Red if it makes you feel better.

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon.


	4. 4 Past

**Chapter Four: Past**

"Don't forget your PokéGear. Oh, and you can't forget about your bag. Do you have enough food for the week? Wait! You need your notebook, too, so you can write down what you're saying to others. Maybe you should bring this, too… perhaps a sleeping bag in case you can't find anywhere to stay? No, I don't want you sleeping the middle of the woods or anything. But if you have to stop, a sleeping bag would be useful—"

I touched my mom's arm, and she jolted, looking down at me as though she had forgotten that I was even here, despite having been worrying about me for the past two days. Ever since Professor Elm had given me my Cyndaquil, she had been going crazy; she knew the favor that he had asked of me—to go visit Mr. Pokémon—was just the beginning. And the possibility of me leaving for good frightened her.

She eventually loosened her grip, though, when Professor Elm came over to my house to explain the situation—how most teenagers went out on their own, how it was a rite of passage, how keeping me from this meant keeping me from an experience that I needed. If she didn't loosen her leash, I would never come back, and although Elm didn't say this directly, he alluded to it, giving me a knowing glance.

For a man who knew so much about Pokémon, he seemed to know a lot about me, too.

"You're right," she finally sighed, smiling weakly at me. "I just… I'm not sure if this is a good idea. Why can't Ethan go with you? Or me? I could be your escort—I've been all around Johto. I just think it's a bad idea for you to be off by yourself when you… when you can't speak. You're going to be taken advantage of."

The smile vanished from her face, and I lowered my gaze. It was in this moment that I decided that leaving home was of vital importance to both me and my mother. For me, I needed to escape this cage, to do things that normal teenager girls did, and as much as I loved Ethan and my mother, I needed to go alone. As for my mother, she was still ashamed to have a mute daughter—so she needed some time to think about that.

So, I pointed at myself, curled my index finger and jabbed down, and shuffled my hands away from me and towards the door. I picked up my bag, swinging it over my shoulder, and stuffed my PokéGear on the outside pocket. Knowing that I'd regret it later if I didn't do anything, I kissed my mom on the cheek, my final act towards her before turning to leave.

I had just reached the front door when she stopped me. "You don't have to," she said.

But I just nodded, walking out the front door.

* * *

Mr. Pokémon had been quite friendly to me upon my visit to his home, and considering this was the first time I had been out on my own, I appreciated this impression. My mother obviously had nothing to worry about. I had already made it past the next town over with no problems, and the people I had met along the way were quite welcoming.

In fact, Mr. Pokémon's colleague, Professor Oak, thought me (or at least my Cyndaquil) quite charming. On a visit from Kanto, the professor was one of the most famous in the world—everyone, including me, knew who he was, and it was an honor to stand in his presence. It was even more of an honor to receive a Pokédex from him.

Even if I could speak, I was too baffled to say anything. A _Pokédex_? Only a few people in the world were Pokédex holders, and me, a girl who couldn't even speak—whose own mother didn't believe she would be able to handle being on her own—had just joined the ranks.

I ran outside, bowing to the professor and Mr. Pokémon as I pushed open his door, in hopes to test it out. But the second I stepped outside, with Cyndaquil close at my heels, my PokéGear began to ring. I figured it was my mother, but upon reflection, I realized my mom would know not to call me. And when I saw Professor Elm's name on the Caller ID, my heart sank.

I couldn't pick up. I couldn't answer. But what else could I do?

"H-hello? Lyra?" Professor Elm's shaky voice began, and I, of course, didn't say anything. He sounded terrified, like something horrible had just occurred. I began to panic, wondering what I could do, what I could say—then I remembered: nothing. "It's a disaster! Uh, um, it's just terrible! What should I do? It… oh no… Please get back here now!"

The PokéGear clicked in my ear, signaling the end of the call, but I stood with it against my ear for a few seconds in attempt to register what had just happened. And then, stuffing the PokéGear into my bag again, I started to run. And I didn't slow down until I crashed into another person at the edge of Cherrygrove, falling down. Cyndaquil jumped out of the way, hurrying to my side and nudging me with its nose.

"What the—" the person I ran into said, and I looked up; a gangly boy with long red hair and a disgusted expression stared down at me. He didn't even offer his hand to me, and as I rose to my feet, his eyes moved to my Cyndaquil. There was a flicker of a smirk on the boy's face, but his disgust seemed to surpass his amusement. "You got a Pokémon at the Lab. What a waste. That's a Pokémon that's too good for a wimp like you."

He stared at me expectantly, and when I didn't say anything, he frowned. "Don't you get what I'm saying?" he asked, and I pursed my lips. "Well, I too have a good Pokémon. I'll show you what I mean!"

He threw a Poké Ball into the air, and a small crocodile popped out, snapping its jaws happily. I held out my Pokédex, and the machine hummed, "Totodile, the Big Jaw Pokémon."

I looked back at Cyndaquil, and it ran from behind my legs, standing defensively in front of me. I had no idea how to battle, and I had to admit, this hadn't exactly popped into my head when I pictured going out on an adventure. Sure, I wanted to battle, but I forgot how important using your voice was when battling. Now I felt like an idiot, and my Cyndaquil was going to get hurt because of my stupidity.

"Totodile, use scratch!" the boy yelled, and Totodile charged at Cyndaquil, its little claws ready. My Pokémon looked back at me, waiting for an order, but I just stared at it with wide eyes. It flopped against the ground as Totodile scratched it, and I covered my mouth with my hands in surprise. I couldn't even tell it to move.

"What are you doing? Don't you know how to battle?" the boy asked me, and I nodded. Of course I knew how to battle. I just didn't know how to battle without a voice. "Totodile, finish it! Use scratch again!"

I closed my eyes, expecting the worst. But a wave of realization came over me; I could communicate the same way with Cyndaquil that I did with people. Cyndaquil had trusted me this whole time, hadn't it? Why did I need to rely on words with it? So far, so good—I didn't need to be afraid of battling.

So, I threw my hands out, not using the form for _tackle_ but still attempting to get the point across. Cyndaquil jumped, rushing into Totodile and knocking the poor creature off its feet. With a single powerful blow from my fire-type, Totodile was down, unable to get back up and fight. I sighed, relieved.

Training. All we needed to do was train. Cyndaquil would know what to expect soon enough.

The redhead returned Totodile to its Poké Ball, staring at me with narrowed eyes. He seemed a tad confused about what just happened, but he just crossed his arms.

"Are you happy you won?" he asked me, and I smiled. Well, if he wanted the honest answer then—yes. Yes, I was. "Do you want to know who I am?" When I didn't say anything, he took a few steps, standing so close to me that I had to take a step back. "I'm going to be the world's greatest Pokémon Trainer."

And then, as if this was a perfectly acceptable thing to do, he pushed me, knocking me out of his way and brushing right past me.

Well, that was rude. Who did he think he was?

_Silver_.

I bent down and picked up his Trainer card, examining it closely. There was a headshot of him from several years ago—his hair was shorter and his cheeks chubbier, but the angry look remained. In fact, if I didn't know better, I thought he looked even meaner here. What had been going on at the time this picture was taken?

_Silver_, I thought to myself, turning around to see if the redhead was still around. And sure enough, he was running back towards me, his hand outstretched towards me.

"Give it back! That's my Trainer card!" He yanked the card out of my hand, shoving it in his pocket and throwing me a nasty look. Then, touching his pocket where he just shoved his card, his eyes widened, and he backed away from me. For a minute, I thought fear flickered through his eyes. "Oh no! You saw my name…"

And without another word, he ran away.

Well, that was strange. But it made me think. That Totodile… didn't Professor Elm have a Totodile?

So, I headed back towards New Bark Town, running into the Pokémon Lab to find the professor chatting with a policeman. I raised my eyebrows, picking up my Cyndaquil and approaching the two men. Professor Elm jumped at my appearance, but he laughed nervously when he realized it was me, running a hand through his barely-existent hair.

"Oh, Lyra," he said. "Thank goodness—"

But the policeman cut him off, clicking his pen and sticking it to his notepad. "Who are you?" he demanded, taking me aback. "We are investigating the case of the missing Pokémon here. Rule number one! 'Whoever did it will come back to the site.'" He paused, staring at the Pokémon in my arms. "Oh my! So you must be… the one who did it?"

I opened my mouth, holding up my hands in embarrassment, but before I could say anything, Ethan rushed to my side, panting.

"Hold on a second…" he muttered, taking off his hat and rubbing the sweat off his forehead. "She has nothing to do with it. I saw it. There was a red-haired boy looking into the building."

The policeman raised his eyebrows, glancing between Ethan and me in disbelief. The words of two teenagers probably didn't sound too convincing. But Professor Elm could back me up. He knew that I didn't steal this Cyndaquil.

The Totodile though… the red-haired boy… that had to be the boy I battled.

So, I looked at Ethan, signing quickly to him that I had battled that redheaded boy just a few moments ago in Cherrygrove—and that he had the missing Pokémon.

Ethan passed my words onto the policeman, and he crossed his arms. "What? You battled a boy like that?" he asked me, and I nodded. "He must be the one who did it… Did you happen to get his name?"

I turned to Ethan again, pointing a finger at my ear before curling it into a fist and rolling it twice away from my body. My friend, however, looked confused, and when I repeated myself, he laughed, rolling his eyes.

"Silver?" Ethan asked incredulously. "What kind of name is that?"

I shrugged as the policeman jotted the name down. "I see! So Silver was his name. Thanks for helping my investigation!" He smiled, but I just hugged Cyndaquil tighter. "My next assignment is to search for this red-haired individual. Professor Elm, we'll catch him. Don't worry. You'll get your Pokémon back!"

Professor Elm laughed meekly, sounding completely unsure, but the policeman just walked away as if he hadn't heard it.

This whole thing was strange. This redheaded boy named Silver just randomly showed up at the Pokémon lab and stole a Pokémon? Why? What did that Totodile mean to him? And why couldn't he just go out into some tall grass and find a Pokémon on his own? Why that Totodile? Why not something else?

Well, whatever the case was, I knew that boy was going to mean something to me, and I doubted it was the last time I was going to see him. I didn't tell Ethan that, but it was important to me; he was the first one I ever battled, the first person to make me realize that I could succeed without a voice. Silver meant something.

So, whenever I thought about him, I found myself twirling my hand away from me, repeating his sign over and over again.

_Silver_, I thought when I set off for the Violet City gym. _Thank you_.

* * *

**Author's Note:** It's been awhile since I updated, but I've been working on an original novel (by the title of "Aerosion"). You can check it out on my dA account or my Figment account. It's not done yet, but I figured it was time to come back to this for a moment.

So, a little introduction to Lyra's life as a Pokémon Trainer and her first encounter with Silver. The next past chapter will skip forward quite a bit, but it should be interesting. As for the next present chapter, what do you think will unfold there? Will she find Red?

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon.


	5. 5 Present

**Chapter Five: Present**

I shoved my PokéGear into my bag, stomping angrily into the cave. Who did Ethan think he was, anyways? I didn't need to rely on him just because I couldn't speak, and he had no right telling my mom and the police that I had flown to Mt. Silver. Besides, I wasn't lost. I didn't need anyone to come rescue me.

Not even the darkness of the cave, along with a soft rumbling of Pokémon cries, could distract me from my frustration with Ethan. My only consolation was that Red was _definitely_ up there on the top of this mountain. I was going to find him, and we would just sit and talk for hours… in our own form of communication. Who needed Ethan when I could actually talk with someone else?

Reaching into my bag, I sent my Typhlosion and Sunflora into the cave with me. Typhlosion roared softly, nuzzling its head into my arm. I patted its nose quickly, pointing in front of me and spreading my fingers. It would know what to do. I had trained all of my Pokémon to understand my commands without speech.

It pulled away from me, flames shooting out of its back. The cave lit up at once, and I could see several Pokémon peeking out from behind boulders. Sunflora leapt ahead of me, waiting for my orders. But I wasn't here to train and battle; I was here to find Red. Those Pokémon weren't going to hurt me, so I didn't need to worry.

I climbed over the rocks, getting several boosts from both Sunflora and Typhlosion over bigger ledges. Now that the Pokémon in the save saw that we weren't here to fight, it was eerily quiet. Only the crackle of Typhlosion's flames echoed through the cave, a soothing song to fill the darkness. The cool, damp air didn't feel so cold now.

Maybe, in a way, I wished Ethan was here to see me now. I didn't need any help. In fact, I was wandering through this cave just fine by myself. I didn't need to speak to be able to navigate. I wasn't blind, just mute. Just like I was proving myself to everyone else, I was proving myself to Ethan, too. He needed to understand.

And his lack of understanding was exactly why I was going to see Red. I couldn't wait to talk to someone who truly knew how I felt about being mute. It was no handicap—it wasn't anything I was ashamed about. I just wanted people to know that I would be the exact same person even if I could speak, and I could do everything than everyone else can do.

We both became Champions, after all. Didn't that say something? Didn't that speak to the world what we could do?

But why did it even need to be us versus them? Why couldn't we just live together like people? We all looked like humans, we all liked Pokémon… the only difference was our inability to speak. Why did that make a difference? What were words? Usually they were empty vessels that only sometimes held deeper meaning. The deepest of it all was inside.

Red would know.

After climbing for about an hour, my arms and legs had gotten tired. There was something about climbing a mountain that really tested different muscles, and I clearly hadn't prepared myself for this. I wondered how often Red had to make this trip. It was impossible to fly to the peak of the mountain because of the strong winds and snow, and the safest way to get to the summit was through the caves. He was probably jacked by now.

Typhlosion retracted its flames, and both Sunflora and Typhlosion cuddled against me in the darkness. Sitting here in the pitch black cave didn't make me nervous in the least; in fact, with Typhlosion and Sunflora around me, I never felt safer. They would pick up on any threats before I could, and they had always done a good job of keeping me safe.

When Sunflora raised its head, therefore, I barely made a move. Typhlosion pulled away from me, flames shooting out of its back again. A lone Misdreavus was making its way towards us, a cocky grin on its face. I stood up, walking towards it with my hand outstretched. A small ball of energy materialized in front of it, flying from straight at me with great speed.

Sunflora jumped in front of me, barely wincing an inch as it took the hit. Well, all right. If it didn't get the memo, then I really had no choice.

I clapped my hands, and Sunflora pranced back towards me. Typhlosion stepped forward, roaring at the Misdreavus and communicating something I, as a human, would never understand. And this was exactly the premise for my battling style.

When I battled Silver the first time I met him, I realized something: Pokémon had very advanced communication skills. They could understand human speech, their own speech, and body language. Trainers without language disorders could shout commands at their Pokémon, and these creatures would easily comprehend them. Similarly, they could translate body language into something they could understand, as well; if I crossed my arms and furrowed my eyebrows, for example, they would know I was annoyed just as any human would.

The only difference, really, between human communication skills and Pokémon communication skills was that they could understand each other. Though we, as humans, could guess what Pokémon said to each other through their body language and tone, it was impossible for us to truly decipher what they were saying into our own languages. Pokémon could communicate with each other, but it didn't necessarily work the other way around.

Still, this was an important discovery for me to make, and I realized that I needed some way of battling after my difficult defeat over Silver. There had to be something I could do to make battling easier; Cyndaquil couldn't very well keep glancing back at me every second waiting for orders; it would be taking out quickly.

Unfortunately, it turned out that having only one Pokémon on my team wasn't working for me. Cyndaquil and I struggled until I was able to capture more Pokémon. And that was when I knew exactly what I needed to do. Maybe it was an unprecedented tactic, and perhaps others would question it, but it worked perfectly.

I always sent out two Pokémon when I battled, but only one did the actual battling. The other Pokémon remained by my side, taking my silent orders and translating them to verbal commands for the Pokémon in battle. If I couldn't speak, I would let my Pokémon do it for me. That way, the Pokémon in battle wouldn't have to keep looking back for my visual orders—and in a dark cave like this, anyways, relying on my body language wouldn't have worked well.

It took some practice to acquaint my Pokémon with my tactics, but they always picked it up quickly. They were far more talented than I.

I looked at Sunflora, despite Typhlosion being the one in battle. Then, putting the back of my hand against my mouth, I flicked my fingers out, blowing against my skin to make a very soft _whooshing_ noise. Sunflora nodded once, crying out to Typhlosion. Without skipping a beat, Typhlosion used Flamethrower, exactly as planned.

Misdreavus didn't stick around long. Its eyes widened at the sight of Typhlosion's powerful attack, and it fled before the attack made contact. Typhlosion roared at it as it soared off, huffing in apparent satisfaction as my Pokémon made their ways back over to me. I patted its head, careful to avoid the continuous flames shooting out of its neck.

Well, as lovely as that break had been, I had better things to do than wait around for Misdreavus to come back.

We didn't stop climbing again until I could see light peeking its way through the cave. I paused before breaking into a run, nearly slipping on a patch of ice near the mouth of the cave. Catching myself just in time, I grabbed the rocky edge of the mouth and narrowed my eyes, trying to give them time to adjust to the blinding white.

When I realized that the blinding white was all I'd ever see, I stepped out into the light. It wasn't that my eyes weren't adjusting—it was snowing like crazy out here!

I grabbed my Poké Ball, sending Sunflora back into a space where it could be warm. I picked another Ball out of my bag, clicking the button and bringing out Espeon to accompany Typhlosion. Its tail dropped between its legs almost immediately, its fur standing up on its back.

Whether I should have taken that as a warning of future events, I didn't know. But at the time I just thought it was cold.

I continued my ascent of Mt. Silver, realizing now that I should have prepared better for this trip. I wasn't dressed for the weather in the least. Grabbing onto ledges was hard when those ledges were covered in snow and you had no gloves—not to mention I kept slipping on the ice. My only hope was to have Typhlosion keep using Flamethrower on all the ledges I wanted to climb up.

All I could do, at this point, was hope that the police would have a tougher time climbing the mountain than I did. I didn't want to reach the top and then have to go back with them—I was eighteen, anyways, so didn't I have every right to leave if I wanted? They couldn't make me go back with them. Or so I hoped.

Finally, after what seemed like days—though it was truly only hours—I made it to the summit. The trees had cleared, and the snow thickened. And yet, through the white I could see just the outline of another person. Standing tall at the top of the mountain, a Pikachu sitting on his shoulder, was Red, the boy I had been searching for.

I didn't know how to approach him. I had never wanted to call out a name so badly in my life, to scream that I had been looking for him, that I wanted to talk, but that would defeat the purpose of why I came—and I wouldn't be able to do so even if I wanted to. But seeing him standing there, his back to me, made me wish I had a voice.

I stood silently for a moment; he couldn't hear me approaching, or if he did, he ignored my presence. How did I approach him? What did I say? Well, what could I say through sign language? _Hi, my name is Lyra, and I came all the way up here just to talk to you about the fact that I'm mute, too_? That sounded ridiculous, even if it was true.

Taking a deep breath, I stepped forward. Pikachu's ears perked, and it turned around. It tapped Red's head, and the boy slowly looked back. There was a small smile on his lips, and just seeing him—really alive, really there in front of me—made my heart jump a little in my chest. I couldn't stop myself from smiling back at him. He was real.

I curled my finger down from my lip, signing his name. That was all I said—all I felt I could say. He would understand.

I took another step closer, stopping a few feet in front of him. My Typhlosion and my Espeon stood closely behind me, and his Pikachu jumped off his shoulders, its cheeks sparking. Typhlosion roared at it, and I smiled.

Well, sure… a battle between mutes would be interesting. It would be surprising, to say the least, and I seriously doubted anything like it had happen in Pokémon history. Besides, I was interested in seeing how Red went about his battles.

So, I nodded, taking a few steps back and tapping my Espeon on the head. It bounced forward, its tail no longer between its legs, but its fur was still standing straight.

"All right, Pikachu," Red said, his voice clear as day, "let's go."

My heart stopped jumping.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Wow, it's been awhile. Hopefully I can get back into this—actually, no, hopefully everyone else can get back into it, haha. A little rereading might be necessary.

So, as predicted by many, Red talks. He may be a man of few words, but he still speaks nonetheless. Poor Lyra. I think she had her heart so set on his inability to speak that she convinced herself that it was one-hundred percent certain.

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon.


	6. 6 Past

**Chapter Six: Past**

My mother needn't have worried about me. I was doing just fine on my own. I caught a couple more Pokémon and had figured out a pretty good system of battling. I only wished my mom could see me now; I didn't need to speak in order to be successful. I was already at Violet City, and soon I would beat the first Gym Leader. Beating him would show her…

She sent me messages more often than I would have liked. _Where are you?_ she would ask. _Do you need Ethan to go with you? Are you having trouble communicating with people? Where are you? Do you want to come home? I'm so proud of you, but if you need to come home, you can. Where are you? Where are you? Where are you? Do you need help?_

No. No. No. She didn't need to know where I was, I didn't want Ethan to come with me, I wasn't having trouble communicating with people _or_ Pokémon, I didn't want to go home, and I certainly didn't need any help. I didn't care whether she was worried or not, and I didn't care if she lied and said she was proud just to get me to come back. I wanted to do this.

I only replied to her last message with a simple refusal for help. I didn't want to reply at all, but I figured she would keep sending me messages if I ignored them all. I had been gone a little over a week, and she was already freaking out. Who knew how many messages she was going to send me a few months from now? I didn't want to think about it.

Entering Sprout Tower, I found this was a reasonable excuse for turning my PokéGear off. The tower was peaceful and silent, the only sound coming from the creaking of floor boards when people walked. The silence was so sweet, and I wondered why all people couldn't speak like me. The world would be so much more peaceful.

"Welcome to Sprout Tower," an old man said as I approached the ladder in the back of the tower. I nodded at him, and he smiled. I had heard legends of the sages of the Sprout Tower; they lived and trained in the tower, and they only spoke when addressing visitors; in other words, they trained and meditated in silence. It sounded like an ideal job.

The sages were more powerful than the trainers I had challenged on the way to Violet City. But their Bellsprouts, however well-trained they were, were no match for my Cyndaquil. Now that Cyndaquil had learned Ember, a fire-type move, those Bellsprouts were toast. The only trick was getting Cyndaquil to figure out what move I wanted it to use.

Almost all trainers had the same reaction went I sent out a second Pokémon. "You can only use one Pokémon in a one-on-one battle!" But they didn't understand; I wasn't sending out a second Pokémon to battle—I was sending it out to give orders where I couldn't. I always had a little note in my pad of paper ready to explain the situation.

My Butterfree understood my directions best, perhaps because it was the most mature of all of my Pokémon. It took a lot of training to prepare all of my Pokémon for this, however. They each needed to learn my commands, and with their constantly changing move sets, it was difficult for them to grow familiar with my sign language. But they all worked as hard as they could to figure it out, and for this I was grateful.

I _liked_ battling, and I _liked_ being with my Pokémon. My mom didn't understand that even though I couldn't speak, I was just like everyone else. I was just a girl who wanted to grow up and learn the things I was supposed to learn. How did she expect me to be successful if I wasn't allowed to try things first?

And a part of me, perhaps more potent than I thought, didn't want to see Ethan grow up without me. Maybe that was why I yearned for separation from him. He was my best friend, and he had done so much for me. But that was just it—eventually he would need to move on and stop doing things for me. And now was that time. He wouldn't be mine forever, and I didn't expect that. So, I needed to move on, too.

As I climbed the tower, battling all the sages along the way, I let my mind wander. What would I do once I finished my adventure—when I had gone as far as I could go? Would I return back home and resume my life as a mute girl who couldn't do anything? That wasn't the life I would choose, but what were my other options?

I took it as a good omen when I saw Silver finishing his battle with the Elder. Without even thinking about it, I twirled my hand away from me, signing his name without hesitance. The movement was so fluid, so natural, and I couldn't help but smile upon seeing him. Sure, he was a jerk, but he did something good for me.

"You showed us what you've got, and it is indeed good…" the Elder was telling him, and I stepped a bit closer. Maybe it was rude of me to eavesdrop, but Silver was a rude person. If he minded, then I could call him out on several things if he wanted to fight that battle. "Take this Technical Machine. However, you should care more about your Pokémon. The way you treat your Pokémon can be too harsh… remember, Pokémon are not tools of war…"

_Tools of war_? If Silver was battling that harshly, and I could remember it from our battle back in Cherrygrove, then there was obviously something the matter. It didn't take a genius to pick up on that. Then again, he _did_ steal his Totodile. There was something going on in his mind that he was fighting with. Maybe his Pokémon _were_ tools of war for some battle he was fighting in his head.

Well, didn't we all have something wrong? He wasn't alone. Which meant that I wasn't, either. If Silver was struggling with something, then we could struggle together. No more picture-perfect world like I had back at New Bark. No more Ethan here to fix things for me. I had dysfunctional Silver to keep me company.

He turned around, his eyes mid-roll when their gaze landed on me. He paused, a glimmer of fear passing through his eyes as recognition set in, but when I smiled, he relaxed. Maybe he was afraid that I had told on him for stealing that Totodile—well, I did, but he didn't need to know that. And part of me wanted him to keep going, anyway.

Finally, he took a step towards me, crossing his arms. "He calls himself the Elder, but he was no match for me," he told me. If he was trying to impress me, I had already heard what the Elder said. It wasn't really working. "Sure enough, those who lecture how you should be 'nice' to Pokémon… they cannot defeat me."

He laughed bitterly, glancing back once at the Elder. Well, he was a cocky one, that was for sure.

"All I care about are strong Pokémon that win every time. The rest of them don't mean anything to me." He shot me a dark look, his eyes moving now to the Cyndaquil at my heels. He rolled his eyes one last time before pulling an Escape Rope out of his pocket and leaving the building without so much as a goodbye. I repeated his name again, staring at the spot he just left.

Oh well. If I wanted a friend while I was out here, I _would have_ tagged along with Ethan. At least he was a nice guy…

"So good of you to come here!"

I jumped when I heard the Elder speak, having forgotten what I even came here to do. He smiled at me as I stepped forward, bowing before him. He was a short, chubby old man, and whatever hair could have been on his head was actually growing from his lip. His fluffy white mustache reminded me of Flaaffy wool.

"Sprout Tower is a place of training. People and Pokémon test their bonds to build a bright future together." His eyes lit up as he spoke, exemplifying the meaning of his words. With years of training behind him, I knew I could believe that those strong bonds were possible. "I am the final test. Allow me to check the ties between you and your Pokémon!"

He held up a Poké Ball, and I nodded, reaching into my bag and pulling out my notebook. I flipped to the page with my battle technique information on it, holding it out for the Elder to read. He narrowed his eyes as he read, glancing up at me with relative shock when he finished reading it. However, after a couple of seconds, he smiled.

I hurried back a few meters, pointing my Cyndaquil to the small arena we constructed. I sent out my Butterfree again for instruction, and Elder Li's eyes widened as he observed me. While others had been curious about my techniques, no one watched me quite like the Elder. He was truly testing me, so I had to show him what I—no, what _we—_could do.

Though more seemed to ride on this battle than other challenges I had faced thus far, I managed to convince myself that this was just like the rest of them. I remained calm throughout the battle, sending silent orders to Butterfree to pass on to Cyndaquil. I avoided the Elder's gaze every time I made an order, knowing that he was watching, although I was slightly curious what he made of this whole thing.

The battle ended with my victory. I bent down to scoop up my Cyndaquil, snuggling it against my chest. Butterfree flew around me, and I would have laughed if I could. If we could handle this guy, we would have no problems with the Gym Leader. Falkner wouldn't know what hit him—nor would anyone else.

Elder Li couldn't deny—I did have a strong bond with my Pokémon.

As I walked back towards the old man, Cyndaquil still curled up in my arms and Butterfree still hovering behind me, he hummed to himself. Then, after a moment, he nodded. "The way you battle is quite elegant," he said. That wasn't quite the word I would have picked, but I would take it. "You should be able to stand up to Falkner. And you should be able to make good use of this… It is a Technical Machine called Flash. Take it with you!"

He pulled a disc out of his pocket, handing it to me. I grabbed it with one hand, still balancing Cyndaquil like a baby in the other. This… this was proof that I could do something _right_. Now I just needed a badge to accompany it.

I thanked the Elder, bowing once more before leaving the tower. There, Mom. I didn't need to speak.

* * *

The Gym Leader proved no match for me. I made it through Falkner's gym without issue, and when I moved along to Azalea Town, I felt even more confident in my abilities. With a new badge to carry, my Pokémon began to trust me a little bit more. The new additions to my team didn't fear my battle strategy as much.

"For pity's sake! My dad's cherished bird Pokémon…" Falkner said when I won. But hidden behind his frustration was amusement, and he passed the badge to me without even hesitating. "But a defeat is a defeat. All right. Take this official Pokémon League Badge. This one is the Zephyr Badge." He closed my fingers over it, patting my hand and smiling.

Right. Maybe Falkner wanted me to win, too. That was the job of a Gym Leader, wasn't it?

Although I wanted to go home and show my mom my new badge, I decided that it was more important that I keep moving. Somewhere, somehow, this adventure was starting to become more important to me than proving to my mother that I could do what everyone else could. Being with Pokémon meant a lot to me.

So, when I heard about the missing Slowpoke in Azalea from Kurt, I couldn't ignore the situation. I needed to involve myself for the sake of the Pokémon. This, at least, was the job of a trainer—to fight for the Pokémon who couldn't fight for themselves. And since I knew all about that, wasn't it fitting that I was the one to fight back?

I followed Kurt into the Slowpoke Well, whether he wanted me to or not, but it was a good thing that I did. Kurt was sitting against the wall of the well, one hand on his back, and his smile looked strained when he saw me. I bent down beside him, and he laughed.

"Hey there, Lyra!" he said happily, and I narrowed my eyes at him. "The guard up top took off when I shouted at him, but then I took a tumble down the well. I slammed down hard on my back, so I can't move." He tried to push himself up, but he groaned as he did so. I put a hand on his arm, and he shook his head. "Rats! If I were fit, my Pokémon would've punished them… Ah, it can't be helped. Lyra, show them how gutsy you are in my place!"

I raised my eyebrows. He was asking _me_ to do this for him? Did he really trust me and believe in me so much that he would ask me to take on Team Rocket? I regretted never leaving New Bark sooner… if I had known there were such kind people in the world—who believed in me even though many others didn't—then I would have left in no time. Elder Li, Falkner, Kurt…

So, I stood up, nodding and hurrying into the depths of the well. I defeated the first few grunts without much issue. My Pokémon were a little hurt, but my newly evolved Quilava could handle what my other Pokémon couldn't. It wasn't until I stumbled into one of the higher-ups that things got a little crazy.

"What do we have here?" the blue-haired executive asked, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards him. Quilava growled at my heels, and the man let me go. He narrowed his eyes, pushing me away and shaking his head. "I am often labeled as the scariest and cruelest guy in Team Rocket. I strongly urge you not to interfere with our business!"

His battle style reminded me of Silver's. He was fierce, desperate almost, and I could see why he was labeled as scary and cruel. He treated his Pokémon harshly, yelling at them when they missed and cursing at me for not speaking. Proton didn't understand, either. There were all types of people in this world, and he was one who I didn't want to associate with.

"Are you serious?" Proton demanded, his voice shaking with anger as his Koffing huffed and huffed in exhaustion. "Did you come here thinking you could mess with our plans?" When I smiled and nodded, Proton didn't laugh. He curled his hands into fists, cursing again when his Koffing fainted. "For a kid to be this good… I didn't see it coming."

I wanted to yell at him, tell him that I wasn't a kid, but that was one of the perks of not having a voice—I couldn't make rash decisions and say things I would get in trouble for. If Proton really was an executive for Team Rocket, then I probably didn't want to upset him anymore than he already was. The only thing I needed to do was get the Slowpoke out.

Proton hurried towards me, grabbing my arm again and narrowing his eyes. "Team Rocket was indeed broken up three years ago. But we continued our activities underground," he hissed at me. I didn't know why he was telling me this. "A _small_ obstacle like you won't be much of a problem for our mission. I advise you to be _very_ afraid of what is to come."

He pushed me away again, shaking his head and abandoning the well with his crew. I sighed; well, apparently it wouldn't have mattered if I yelled at Proton, after all. I was already on Team Rocket's bad side now.

I hurried over to the Slowpoke scattered around the well, frowning as I examined their wounds. None of them seemed to be suffering, and their tails would grow back. Still, how Team Rocket could even do something so horrible was beyond me. I knew what it was like to be defenseless. Didn't they know, too?

"Way to go, Lyra!" I heard Kurt call, and I saw him limping his way over to me. I rushed towards him, moving my arm around his shoulders. I wanted to scold him for moving, but even if I could, he seemed like a stubborn old man who wouldn't listen to me, anyway. "Team Rocket has taken off. My back's better, too. Let's get out of here."

I rolled his eyes at his definition of "better", but I helped him get back to his house, anyway. Kurt managed to carry a couple of injured Slowpoke, and I had my Pokémon do their best to get the Slowpoke out of the well, too. Once they were at the Pokémon Center, Kurt and I returned to his house.

"You know, Lyra, you handled yourself like a real hero." Kurt smiled at me as he collapsed on his chair, and I blushed. Hero? Me? "As I mentioned before, Team Rocket was disbanded by a boy called Red three years ago. Now they have come back… I have a bad feeling about it…"

Red. Why did his name sound so familiar to me?

It didn't matter. If Team Rocket had returned, then someone needed to do something about it. And now that they knew I had interfered with their plans once, they would do everything they could to make sure that I wouldn't do it again.

But I would. If this was what I was meant to do, then so be it. I would fight for Pokémon. This was the bond the Elder had recognized me for, after all.

So, I vowed to myself—if Team Rocket really did come back, then I would do everything in my power to make sure that they didn't win. I would take Red's place, and I would live up to Elder Li's and Falkner's and Kurt's expectations.

* * *

**Author's Note:** My goodness, it's been a really long time. I'm sorry about that. I guess I've been really distracted by other things. I still have to write three one-shots that people requested, _and_ I have to put up another chapter for "Rightfully Yours"… it's a busy weekend for fanfiction, haha.

The next chapter is Lyra vs. Red in the present! That should be a lot of fun. :D

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon.


	7. 7 Present

**Chapter Seven: Present**

The freezing temperatures on the summit of the mountain kept me from crying, but it took all of my strength to keep me standing. My legs shook under this sudden pressure, like the world had all of a sudden upped gravity on me alone. My heart beat again, perhaps visibly against my chest, banging and banging against it until it hurt. A sob caught in my throat, but I couldn't let any noise escape from my mouth even if it could.

The smile vanished from Red's lips, but other than this, he didn't seem to recognize how distraught I was. He was confused, perhaps, at my sudden disappointment, but this was nothing he needed to worry about. He wanted a battle, after all, and I had been eager to agree. Whatever was wrong couldn't possibly be his fault.

And it wasn't his fault, really. No one decided whether they would speak or not—well, that wasn't entirely true. Red didn't speak _often_, clearly, and that was by choice. But me—I had no choice. All the times I truly wanted to say something, to be heard, I never was. I didn't choose that, and maybe if I had the choice, I wouldn't pick it. But never, until this moment, did I feel so distant from everyone I knew.

Ethan was right, after all. I shouldn't have left home.

But what choice did I have now? I agreed to a battle—I couldn't just walk away now, and I doubted I would be able to win in my current state of mind. It would be a dishonor to both me and my Pokémon if I were to give anything less than my best, but it would be cruel for me to use my Pokémon to take my anger out on Red, which I knew would be the case were I to continue this battle. But I had no choice. I never did.

I curled my hands into fists and furrowed my eyebrows, and Espeon mewed at me. It was too late. The disappointment I felt turned into anger and resentment. I climbed this mountain to find a boy like me, a boy who would understand exactly how I felt every day of my life—for nothing. He, like everyone else, would never understand me.

I didn't care if he was a hero. He wasn't mine anymore. What a fallacy I had convinced myself into believing…

Looking down at Espeon, I blew on the tips of my fingers. Espeon cried out to Typhlosion, and flames shot out of the latter monster's mouth. I snapped my fingers, sure that my rather sudden attack—an advantage I had by not being about to speak—would catch Red's Pikachu off guard. I would, after all, show the boy no mercy.

But his Pikachu was quick—I should have expected nothing less from Champion Red and his most loyal Pokémon. It dodged the attack so effortlessly and without any command from Red. I could tell, then, why people thought he was mute; his communication with his Pokémon was trust. His bond was impressive. Yet, then again, so was mine.

I stretched my fingers this time, and Espeon called the command to Typhlosion. Typhlosion, though, wasn't fast enough for Pikachu. The electric mouse threw its body into Typhlosion, and—although the former was many times smaller than the latter—Typhlosion fell back. The Pikachu attacked over and over, electric sparks flying from its cheeks to my poor Pokémon's body.

I grimaced, returning my starter to its Poké Ball. If Typhlosion couldn't stop Pikachu, then I was never going to win this battle. But I needed to win. I needed to prove to Red that I was better than he was. That was the only thing that would make this day better.

Well, I just needed the type advantage. I threw a Poké Ball out in front of me, and Piloswine burst out of it. I smirked, expecting panic on Red's part. But his face remained ever stoic, no hint of emotion on his face. He just pointed a finger at Piloswine, and Pikachu squeaked in reply. I needed to react quickly.

I stomped my foot on the ground, and Espeon quickly relayed my message onto Piloswine. The ground began to shake, but Pikachu threw its body into the air. Its tail glowed silver, growing rigid as it twirled. I winced as it sliced at Piloswine—Iron Tail. That was super effective against Ice types like Piloswine… Shit.

One-hit, and it was done. That Pikachu was something, but it had to start wearing down eventually.

Sunflora was up next, but it wasn't a fan of the snow. It wiggled its leaves around itself, and I frowned, shaking my head. It needed to do something. This was a big battle!

I clapped my hands, trying to snap Sunflora out of its funk. I grimaced, whipping my hand away from me. Sunflora was slow in the cold, and it could barely get its Razor Leaf attack out before Pikachu shocked it. But the attack was weak against Sunflora, and the leaves cut Pikachu as it hit my Pokémon.

Pikachu stumbled back, its cheeks sparking. My attack had barely done anything, but one more hit, and Sunflora was down. I could waste Sunflora's special attack with Leaf Storm… it would be worth it, after all, since it was probably going down, anyway—

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the hell was I thinking? This battle was starting to get to me.

But still…

I waved my arms around, and Espeon hesitated. It knew how I felt… it could sense it. But I needed to get rid of this Pikachu. It was either do nothing and lose Sunflora or use all of Sunflora's strength and still lose it. The options weren't very good either way, but it was what I had to do. It was strategy, wasn't it?

Espeon finally called the command, and Sunflora whipped up a tornado of leaves. The falling snow weaved its way into the attack, pelting Pikachu as it hit. I snapped my fingers, sure that this would finish it. But Pikachu brushed off the attack—although tired, it wasn't giving up just yet. Red's expression still didn't change.

I clenched my fists, ready to jump in this fight. This was ridiculous.

Sunflora was down in the next attack. Three of my Pokémon had already lost to one of his, and my team had barely left a scratch on his Pikachu. The only consolation I had now was that it was easier to hate Red if he beat me like this.

I sent out Kingdra next; at least it was part Dragon… it wouldn't go down without a fight. But if it did go down, I was screwed. My next type was Flying, and Pikachu had the obvious advantage there. My only hope would be Espeon at that point, but I hoped it wouldn't have to come to that. It wouldn't be pretty.

Kingdra bounced on its tail in the snow, and I rattled off attacks continuously. Pikachu had the advantage in this snowy field now, but Kingdra was good. It dodged, attacked, dodged, attacked. Its attacks held Pikachu back, although it avoided damage pretty well. But it had to be getting tired from running around…

And then it struck, its Volt Tackle pushing Kingdra to my feet. I closed my eyes as I returned Kingdra to its Poké Ball, trying to compose myself. But my anger was building, and my legs had begun to shake again. I was done. This was it.

Togekiss went down in a matter of seconds. It never even knew what hit it. Pikachu was levels above my whole team, far more experiences than any Pokémon on my team. I should have respected it—and Red, probably, too—but I hated it more than anything. I should have quit while I was behind…

Here was the problem: battling with one Pokémon left was difficult for me. I didn't usually get myself into this sort of situation, and I certainly hadn't planned on it now. Yet what did I expect? I knew that this wouldn't be my finest battle, and I recognized that Red was a difficult opponent. But I let myself mess up.

Espeon, although very fast and very well-trained, was no match for his Pikachu. None of my Pokémon were. And I knew exactly why.

I fell to my knees in the snow, looking anywhere but at Red. I lost, totally and completely. I was not a sore loser by any means, at least not usually, but I had never felt worse about a loss in my life. There was something humiliating about this whole thing, like my life was turning into one big joke. Everything went tumbling down the snowy hill real fast.

Red stepped towards me, and I finally looked up at him. His hat casting a shadow above his eyes, making eye contact with him a tad less awkward. The snow was falling harder on us now, and he was like a ghost walking towards me. His Pikachu, perched once again on his shoulders, didn't look like it had been scratched. The two could weather this a lot better than I could—but, then, they were the victors.

He stopped in front of me, holding his hand out towards me. I stared at it, my legs starting to freeze in the snow. Still, I didn't grab it. Losing this battle hadn't changed my mind about him—my new perception in place of the old. I had gotten my hopes up, and he had been the one to let me fall. So, I couldn't grab his hand. I couldn't afford for him to let go again.

He sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets after I ignored his offer. "You know," he said, and I winced at the sound of his voice. Crystal clear—a voice of someone trustworthy. Too bad he couldn't have my trust. "I've been up on this mountain for a long time. I don't know anything about the world below anymore. But I can tell you're someone important. You and I—we're a lot alike, I think."

I narrowed my eyes, glaring up at him now. No, we were nothing alike! I had thought so once. He was the Champion of Kanto; I was the Champion of Johto. He stopped Team Rocket; I stopped Team Rocket. He didn't speak; I didn't speak. It was like we were the same person. But we really weren't so similar after all. Two out of three was still failing.

"But…" Red looked off in the distance then, perhaps unable to hold my gaze while I glared at him. "There's something that's keeping you from performing at your top level. I don't know anything about you, and I don't want to make assumptions. I'm just saying that you didn't give that battle your all. I want to battle you another time when you're yourself."

_You don't know who "myself" is_, I wanted to say, but I didn't want to look like a fool signing or writing on my pad of paper.

"Come find me again sometime," he concluded. He smiled at me, taking a few steps back before sending out his Charizard. He hopped up on the beast's back, waving tentatively at me as he flew off the mountain and left me alone on the summit. He disappeared into the snow after just a couple of seconds, and then it was just me.

I wanted to scream. My Pokémon all fainted, and I hadn't brought any items with me. How could Red leave me all alone like that? I didn't care if he thought I needed it—that maybe I needed some sort of spiritual guidance that he had found on this mountain. I wasn't staying here. I was _nothing like Red_. I couldn't stay here!

I pushed myself to my feet, my legs shaking from the cold now. Wobbling my way back towards the caves, I crawled inside and sat in the mouth of the cave. The snow on the summit was falling harder and harder, piling up outside the cave, and I just prayed that the snow hadn't accumulated at the foot of the mountain.

Well, without my team all healed up, I would have to make my way very carefully through the cave.

I stood back up, shuffling my feet against the stone ground and holding my hands out in front of me. I was making good progress until I tumbled down a ledge, twisting my knee as I landed. I held my breath, clenching my teeth and squeezing my eyes shut in pain. Great. Things couldn't possibly get any worse for me today.

But they did. Oh, they did.

It began as a groan. The noise grew louder and loader, more like a roar. The wild cave-dwelling Pokémon cried simultaneously, and then the cave began to shake. I covered my ears, glancing around in the darkness and seeing nothing. The rocks and stalactites fell from the roof of the cave, clattering against the ground.

I pulled myself close to the ledge, pushing myself up against it. My knee protested, but I was better off in pain than dead.

Whatever it was that was happening—and I wasn't exactly sure in the darkness—stopped after what seemed like forever. I was relatively unharmed, but any light that had filtered in from the mouth of the cave was no longer available to me.

The cave had collapsed into itself.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Uh-oh. Trapped in a cave. Not good.

Lyra is a cocky little sucker in this chapter. I think her anger and disappointment went to her head. But really. She's not someone I would be friends with in this chapter. But her attitude is a result of her sense of betrayal. It's hard to be let down.

All right, all right. Clearly I'm not as reliable as I like to think I am. Work rushed on me all at once, so I was forced to take a hiatus. But here is another update to make up for it?


	8. 8 Past

**Chapter Eight: Past**

I didn't need words to express my anger at Silver.

The frustration I originally felt bubbled into rage upon his reappearance, and I placed two hands on his chest, shoving him backwards as hard as I could. He stumbled back into the brick wall, his hands acting as a cushion to his impact. But the second he rebounded, I pushed him again, and he tumbled to the ground. Shock painted every crevasse of his face.

"What the hell are you doing, you nutcase?" he demanded, and I would have laughed at him if I could.

I stuck my pinky finger and my thumb out and held my fist against my forehead, staring at him with narrowed eyes. The only other person I had ever been this frustrated with was my mother, but this was a different story entirely. For one thing, at least my mother was smart enough to know when someone didn't want to be bothered—whether she ignored them or not was a separate issue.

Silver rubbed the back of his head, but he didn't make any motion to stand back up. At least he could learn. If he tried to run away like a freaking coward, then he would get what was coming to him. After the way he had treated me, he _deserved_ to be treated like this. I didn't care anymore. He needed this.

And then he made eye contact with me, and I could see something in his eyes that I hadn't before. Usually, he was cold and distant, the light in his eyes nearly extinguished. But this time, there was a certain warmth in his gaze, the cold glare melting into something softer. Something had clicked, changed, and I lowered the hand from my forehead.

I curled my hand over my chest again, the sign for "sorry" that I knew so well these days, and backed away from Silver. It was so unlike me to become violent, but maybe whatever had clicked on in Silver had clicked off in me.

"You don't need to apologize," Silver said, and I froze as he finally rose to his feet.

He… he knew what I said. Silver, this stupid boy who I kept running into all over Johto and who kept ruining all of my brilliant plans, knew what I said. He understood sign language, the language so few knew, and could understand me. How… how long? How long had he known? Could my journey have been so much easier?

I flicked my index finger away from my chin and then pointed at myself, demanding an answer. I should have been happy—happy that someone _knew_—but all I felt now was bitterness. I hated him more than I had ever hated anyone in my whole life, and when tears started to bubble in the corners of my eyes, I didn't bother wiping them away.

"Well, um…" Silver crossed his arms, and I curled my hands into fists.

_Battle_, I signed, not even waiting for an answer before calling my Typhlosion and Espeon out. _Did you get that?_

I stared at Silver, waiting for any sign that he understood, and then he nodded. Admittedly, there had been something different about him since we met in Mahogany. He had mentioned something Lance had told him, and he had seemed really determined and distant just a little while ago at the radio station when he came and messed up my plan. What happened? Was he finally regaining control of his heart?

And… was that why he knew?

I thought about this as we battled, focusing not on my Pokémon's attacks or Silver's commands but on Silver's change. I recalled our first battle, remembering how cold he had been. _You got a Pokémon at the Lab. What a waste. That's a Pokémon that's too good for a wimp like you_, he had said. He pushed me around, scoffed at me—he had been the epitome of arrogance. And now he couldn't even answer a simple question.

So, I would still hate him. I didn't care how grateful I was to him for helping me figure out how to battle and getting me started, nor did I care about how he had treated me in the past. The two extremes made no difference. Instead, I hated him because he knew, and now I felt weak. Maybe I really was the wimp he said I was.

I twirled my finger, and Espeon cried out to Typhlosion. The fire-type rolled into a flame wheel, striking Silver's last Pokémon, Sneasel, and knocking it out of the battle. My Espeon hurried over to me and rubbed its head against my hand, and I sighed. There was no victory from that battle. I still felt like a loser.

"Why… why do I lose?" Silver muttered to himself, staring down at his hands. "I've assembled the toughest Pokémon. I didn't ease up on the gas. So, why do I lose?" His tone was soft, pitying, and I thought again of how different this was from the Silver I knew. "I don't understand. Is what that Lance guy said true? That I don't treat Pokémon properly? Love… trust… are they really what I lack? Are they keeping me from winning? I… I just don't understand."

Lance. Him again. The dragon-master I had met in Mahogany. Lance had cared so much about Pokémon that he risked everything to stop Team Rocket, and I had helped him. But Silver… he had just wanted to win. More than anything, Silver wanted to be strong, to show everyone that he was powerful.

And… really, that sounded just like me.

"Listen." Silver shoved his hands in his pockets, his eyes drifting to and from mine every few seconds. "Lance told me that you can't talk. I just figured… well, we run into each other a lot, so I figured I should… er, I got a book. But I only got it so I could figure out what those stupid hand signals you use during battles were."

My eyes welled with tears again, but I fought them back this time, forcing myself to keep my composure. _Probably didn't help. I make up my own signs for battles_, I signed, and I wanted to laugh when Silver's eyebrows furrowed. All right, so maybe it was a little soon for intense sign language. I would just have to stick to one or two word responses.

"Well, all I know is that it's not going to end here," Silver continued, staring now at my Typhlosion and Espeon as they stood closer to me. "Not yet. Not because of this. I won't give up my dream of becoming the world's best Pokémon Trainer! You watch yourself. I'm not going to lose next time we battle."

Silver stormed off without giving me a chance to reply, just like he usually did. Even as he walked away, though, I couldn't help but think of how much had changed between us these past few months. I didn't think he knew how much he had changed, which made me realize that maybe I hadn't noticed, either.

Yeah, I still hated him, but only because I was as clueless as he was.

* * *

"How could this be?" Archer, the interim boss of Team Rocket, asked, his eyes wide and his jaw slack. After chasing Team Rocket around Johto, fighting alongside Lance, and dealing with Silver, this was finally done. I didn't have to worry about Team Rocket's shenanigans anymore. "Our dreams have come to naught. I was not up to the task after all. Like Giovanni before me, I will disband Team Rocket here today. Farewell."

Before I could stop him, Archer's Koffing used Smokescreen, and by the time the smog cleared, the man was nowhere to be found. I believed him, though. Team Rocket stood no chance anymore, and they knew it. The third time would never be the charm because there was always going to be someone there to stop them.

_Our dreams have come to naught_, Archer had said. The words kept replaying over and over in my head, in his voice—not my own, for I had none. Even when the director of the radio station arrived and spoke to me, I kept thinking of those words. Something about saving everyone, something about a silver wing, and everything about dreams ending.

In a way, I felt bad for them: Team Rocket. Sure, their intentions were absolutely dismal, and they needed to be stopped. But I knew what it was like to have a dream, and I knew what it was like to feel like it was unreachable. Team Rocket would never get what they yearned for, and that was a horrible realization.

I stood in the observation deck long after the director left. I stared out the window, watching as the people of Goldenrod all poked their heads out of their doors, checking to see if it was safe. Children bolted out between their parents and the doorframe, throwing their hands in the air and running careless. Their parents would yell for them, but they didn't stop. They were free.

Eventually, those children would grow older and have their own dreams. Maybe some of them would do dumb things, like join Team Rocket and try to start it again, and their dreams would be crushed. Others would leave home and go on their journeys, tagging along with their Pokémon and facing their dreams. That was reality. Sometimes it worked in your favor, sometimes it didn't.

But that same reality also gave us more than one chance. Sure, Archer and the rest of Team Rocket had failed, much to their chagrin and much to the rest of the world's pleasure. Archer would eventually have a new dream after giving up this old one. Things would work out for him somehow. I sincerely wished it.

I was born without the ability to speak. When my mom took me to the doctor, a little while after I should have started talking, they found that I wasn't just delayed—it was never going to happen. Maybe at one point, when I realized that I was abnormal, I wished that I could speak. That had been my dream. But eventually, I replaced that with a dream to be _normal_.

The thing was, though, I was never going to be normal, either. Here I was, a girl who couldn't speak, and I had a connection with my Pokémon unlike anyone else. I had tried to be normal—I went on a journey just like every other kid had, trained Pokémon, fought gyms… and I still found that I was anything but normal. Another dream out the window.

But just like with Team Rocket, failing to see that dream come true wasn't a bad thing. It opened the door to opportunities that I wouldn't have had otherwise. That was the beautiful thing about it; when one door shut, another one opened. I had no voice, and I certainly wasn't normal—but I was, for the first time in a long time, happy.

Really happy.

The reality was, some dreams were never going to come true. Still, in order to open your eyes and see every other dream, you had to give some things up. Sure, it would hurt. Life wasn't meant to be easy, nor was it meant to be fair—but it _was_ supposed to be happy. And when the pain from failing passed, you would realize for the first time that you were happy.

So, I stayed in the observation tower for a long time, watching the people in the world below and dreaming that they were going to be okay, too.

* * *

**Author's Note:** This is the first time, I believe, that I have strayed from the original script of the English games in a flashback chapter. I know several of you have commented that you like how I kept to the script, but I felt it necessary for this chapter. This is a transition—so I wanted the chapter to represent change.

So… obviously I'm not the most reliable writer at the moment. This story has been a little rough for me, so I apologize for the extremely sporadic updates. But I won't make excuses, nor will I say (again) that the next update will be faster. I can't guarantee that. Just allow me to assure you of this: this story WILL be completed no matter how long it takes me. There's not that many chapters left. It WILL be finished. Don't worry.


	9. 9 Present

**Chapter Nine: Present**

I opened my mouth, determined to scream, but all that came out was a long breath of air that I knew I should conserve. Yet as the realization of what had just occurred weighed in on me, my breathing quickened, coming out in short, powerful huffs. _This is it_, I thought, rubbing my hands against my arms. _I'm done for_.

I tried again, clapping my hands and opening my mouth and _praying_ that some noise would come out. In this moment of need, it would be perfect and convenient for my voice to magically break through. I would go through therapy for the rest of my life, never walk out again, if my voice worked just this once.

My throat dried up after a minute or so of just blowing hot air. Nothing. Not even now, when I needed it most, would my voice come. This was what I got, I supposed, for being so adamant about my muteness not being a hindrance. It never had been up until this point, of course. Or if it had, I had moved past it.

I couldn't scream for help—not that anyone would ever come—and I had no Pokémon to help me escape. And now, not only could I not speak, but I could no longer see in the pitch black of the fallen cave. Even my body was a handicap now, my knee screaming even louder than I could hope. Silence, darkness, and pain. This was all I knew now.

The wild Pokémon of the cave had long since fled, their instincts protecting them from the danger that had awaited them here. My Espeon knew… that was why it had been so crazy up on top of the mountain. It wasn't Red, and it certainly wasn't the weather—Espeon had seen this coming the entire time. I had been too dumb, too set on my course to notice. And now I was paying the price for my stubbornness.

"Help," I mouthed, tears beginning to drip down my cheeks. It should have been too cold for any tears to fall at all, and they stung against my skin. This only made me cry harder.

The betrayal I felt didn't particularly help, either. Red had been a farce, something I had forced on myself because the idea of him seemed so sweet—a boy just a few years my senior who couldn't talk either, who might understood what I went through, who was my perfect doppelganger. I should have known from the start that this was too good to be true.

I couldn't blame him, of course, even for leaving me here. It had all been my fault. He couldn't control the fact that he had a voice, as most people did, and he certainly couldn't control the world beneath him. And I had a feeling he was trying to teach me a lesson by leaving me here. I would do what he did, train and become stronger if I was even strong enough to begin the challenge—except that I wasn't. I fled, too.

No, I could never blame him, and I shouldn't hate him. Especially now, there was no way I could hate him or anyone.

I needed a way out.

I had no choice, although it seemed like this had been the case a lot for me. I grabbed a Poké Ball, releasing my exhausted Typhlosion. It growled, rubbing its head against my arm. It couldn't see me. I couldn't give any commands, and there was no way it would be able to get a flame going in its condition.

Poor thing. I had been so cruel, and it was a miracle that it even forgave me for acting that way. In my rage while battling Red, I had disregarded the safety of my Pokémon, and karma had come full circle again. My only consolation came as Typhlosion licked my face right along the salty trail of my tears. It growled long and low, and I patted its head.

I dropped my right hand from my chin into my left hand. It couldn't see me, but I hoped it felt something. I returned Typhlosion to its Poké Ball, holding its little home in my hand for several minutes before placing it back in my bag again. Typhlosion had always been so loyal to me, even as a Cyndaquil, and I had never quite returned the favor.

The time ticked on, although how quickly or slowly, I couldn't quite tell. I stopped crying eventually, tried to stand up and failed, and leaned back against the floor. I knew what that meant: falling back, refusing to stand up after a single try, drying my tears. I had given up. It was no use trying when no one would come for me, anyway.

I had nothing left to do but think about my mistakes.

In retrospect, commanding Piloswine to use Earthquake on the summit of a mountain probably hadn't helped this situation. But that was my problem, wasn't it? I never thought things through, and it always came back to bite me in the ass. I came here with a one-track mind, never thinking that Red could ever have a voice. It was ridiculous.

Not to mention the way I handled that battle. I had been horrible to Sunflora. My anger got the best of me, and that wasn't the mark of a Champion; it was the mark of a coward. All along, this entire situation just proved I was one big coward, a Champion who could never live up to the expectations the world placed on me.

I once thought that being mute was no handicap. I thought I could do everything a normal person could do, and I tried as hard as I could to do just that: everything. I went on my journey, broke my family's rules, acted rebellious, went a little crazy, got my shit together long enough to defeat Team Rocket and the Champion, and eventually fell down the same old path as before.

And I thought I was a hero.

I had been a fool. There was nothing heroic about my pompous attitude or my cruelty to my friends and Pokémon. Sure, maybe I had done the things I wanted to do and been a normal teenager, but it had never been my muteness that made me handicapped. In the end, I had not learned a single lesson, even when they were written out for me.

And Ethan had been right all along—about everything. I should have told someone, I should have told the truth, made this a day trip… gone with him. I had been so determined to see Red that I ignored everything he said, and I had been so utterly wrong. Everything that Ethan had told me had gone right over my head.

And it wasn't just that stuff, either. It was more than that. Ethan had been there all along, even when I never asked for him to be there. Silver, sure, had shown up all along and become my friend. Kurt and Lance had been kind to me, called me a hero, set me up on a pedestal, and I loved every part of that. They had made me feel _special_.

But Ethan had been kind to me, called me a hero, set me up on his own special pedestal just for me, and made me feel more than special—he made me feel _worthy_. I took that for granted every single day of my life, and I knew it. When he learned sign language for him, I hated him for invading my life; he needed to invade it. When he waited for me after therapy sessions, I cursed at him; he was being kind, as always. And when he told me to stay behind, tried to stop me from leaving, I brushed him aside; all he had ever done was love me.

_Love me_.

The tears that I had thought had dried up began again, and I buried my face in my hands. What an idiot I was! How foolish and stupid and so _blind_ could one girl be? I was mute, not blind, but my handicap was my mind. I was so set on proving myself that I forgot about everyone else important to me, including my best friend.

Oh, Ethan.

My time would end here soon, and I would never get to say the word he knew so well now. I could never curl my hand and circle it against my chest again, never speak in the language only we understood—because it was more than just sign language between us. It was speech, movement, dance, music, everything. He got it.

So, my hand shaking, I repeated the word over and over and over again, tears burning against my skin as they dripped from my chin. Maybe he would hear my voice someday.

Or maybe not. He probably gave up, too.

It really was too bad that this was the way I would have to go, never saying goodbye to anyone, never knowing if they even came looking for me. I would vanish, just like Red, and they would assume I was gone. They would be concerned, but they would leave me well enough alone. Unlike Red, though, I wasn't coming back.

It was after lying on the ground for what seemed like days, and perhaps it had been, that I heard something. It took too much effort to sit up, and my reflexes were barely working. I knew I should move, save myself while I was still alive, but I would die sooner or later. If this cave collapsed again, it was only speeding up the process.

But then I saw light. It was blinding, and I closed my eyes to avoid it. After a moment, however, I realized what this meant, and I opened my eyes again. _Light_. And it wasn't any old light, not manmade, not entirely natural, but entirely familiar. A Pokémon was coming, strong enough to light this cave and show the way.

Then I heard something so beautiful that I managed to crawl forward a little bit at the sound of it: my name.

"Lyra!" the voice shouted, and I covered my mouth with my hands. _He was here for me_. "Lyra, are you in here? Lyra!"

It was a little bit of shock and a little bit of joy that kept me from moving. But after a moment, I knew I needed to make myself known to him. I clapped my hands together, and the noise echoed through the cave. The voice called louder and louder for me, until the light of the Pokémon was so close that I could see my clapping hands.

And then I could see him.

He appeared to lose control of himself, dropping to the ground and sitting there just staring at me. I didn't make any movement towards him—not that I could given the state of my knee—but I signed my favorite word over and over again just like I had earlier. When he finally nodded, his eyes never once leaving mine, I signed his name.

Ethan crawled towards me, his Pokémon close at his heels and providing enough light for it to seem like we were in broad daylight. He sat up on his knees right in front of me, and I sat with one leg twisted into me and my damaged leg straight out. If Red was my doppelganger, Ethan was my antithesis. I had never noticed more than now.

He raised his arms, pulling me into him, and everything fell apart again. I sobbed into his chest, everything coming out at once: this failure, this disaster, my apology, all rolled into one mess. I shook against his body, and he held me tight, a hand moving up and down along my spine. And just like that, we were done.

"Never," he whispered, "leave me again."

I held my hand up to agree, but he linked his fingers with mine before I could sign anything. He pushed himself away from me and pulled me to my feet, cautious as always of my well-being.

Just like always, he knew exactly what I was going to say before I said it.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Creative liberties—fainted Pokémon should not be allowed to use HM moves, LOL.

How did he find her? Find out in the next "present" chapter!


	10. 10 Past

**Chapter Ten: Past**

Leaving home was the best choice I could have ever made for myself.

I had _friends_. Ethan was the only friend I had ever had growing up, and now I had a world of support from people I had met along my journey. Lance, Kurt, the Gym Leaders… hell, even _Silver_—of all people—treated me like an equal. I actually felt accepted for the first time in my life, and it was the greatest feeling.

I never wanted to return home, and why should I? Back in New Bark Town, I was nothing—a little girl restricted by rules and bound by invisible chains. Out here, out on my own, I was free. I could go wherever I wanted whenever I wanted, and I could talk as if I actually had a voice. Everyone would stop to listen here.

Besides, what was the point of going back when I didn't have anything left there? My house, my few possessions in my bedroom, my mother… was it wrong of me to say that I wouldn't miss any of those things? My mother, who had tried her very best to raise me, could still send me messages and communicate with me—but that was all she ever wanted from our relationship: communication. She could get more of it the further away I was, maybe pretend as though I really responded.

And then there was Ethan, my best friend. Well, he was better off without me.

I was Champion now—what did it matter whether I went back or stayed out here and did some exploring? I had always wanted to go to Kanto, beyond the Indigo Plateau, and it was just a boat trip away. I wasn't some baby who needed to return before curfew. I was happy, free, and I had friends. No way would I return to a place that never felt like home.

There was something peaceful about being alone, though, despite my happiness at having friends. So, I left again, skipping right past New Bark Town and heading straight to Kanto instead. I had already been gone from home for about a year, and I hadn't once visited my mom. Maybe I should have felt guilty, but instead, I just felt like I was pushing off the inevitable. And I would avoid that as long as I could.

Maybe to a stranger it would look as if I were running away from something. But that wasn't true. I wasn't running away from anything—I was _staying_ away from the world I left behind.

Until I couldn't stay away any longer, of course.

_Just checking in on you, Lyra. I haven't heard from you in awhile, and I just want to make sure that you're doing all right. I know you're very busy, but I would love if you could stop home every once in awhile. You have more important things to do, I know, but I'm still your mother. It would make me feel much better if I got to actually see you and know that you're doing okay. Love you. Mom._

I didn't reply to that text, nor did I let it harp on me. To be honest, it didn't have the effect on me that I knew my mother desired. I didn't feel guilty, and I sure as hell didn't plan on going home. She was right—I had more important things to do than fly back home just to see her. I still had so many places to see, so many people to meet.

But when I continued forward without responding, the texts kept coming, and it wasn't just my mom sending them, anymore. Other people were starting to wonder where I was: Lance, a few of the Gym Leaders, Silver, and, of course, Ethan. And I ignored every single text, no matter how much I cared about all of them.

Except for one from Professor Oak.

_Lyra, I have something for you. Please stop by my lab in Pallet._

Having just collected all the badges in Kanto, I planned on making my way to Hoenn next. Professor Oak would probably be able to help me get there, so going to his lab wouldn't be a bad idea—or so I thought. In the end, it turned out that this was just another text I probably should have ignored.

"I made arrangements so you can go to Mt. Silver in Johto," Professor Oak told me when I made it to his lab, and I inhaled sharply. Johto.

So, that was what this was about. Mt. Silver was a mountain in the East of Johto, and only powerful trainers were allowed to go there because of the dangerous and strong Pokémon that lived there. And there were rumors of an even more powerful trainer living on the mountain: the missing Champion from Kanto. He was even just like me, according to some of the people I had met while here in Kanto. Mute.

But I knew what Professor Oak was really up to. It wasn't that he wanted me to go to Mt. Silver for my own sake. He wanted to me to return to Johto, to go back home. He knew me—yeah, he was an old guy who probably didn't understand my situation, but he knew me nonetheless. This offer was just too good to be true.

And it was.

"However, I called your mother to let her know that I would be making these arrangements for you, and her one condition was that you stop home and bring someone else with you." Professor Oak smiled, even as I gaped at him, clearly holding back a chuckle. "Lyra, seeing as you are a minor, I am obligated to agree with her. So long as you are less than eighteen years of age, I am afraid I will not be able to allow you to go to Mt. Silver unless her conditions have been met, and there _will_ be someone there to check."

I couldn't believe it. My mom and Professor Oak had teamed up to make an offer I couldn't refuse… I didn't care if I was a minor—I had left my home by myself, been all around my region and Kanto by myself, and here my mom was saying I couldn't do _this_ by myself. Maybe she thought she was helping, but she just wasn't.

Still, my trip to Hoenn would have to wait. I would have to go back to Johto if I ever wanted to make it to Mt. Silver, and I definitely wanted to—how many people could say that they had been to Mt. Silver? It was a phenomenal opportunity, true, even if it was a bribe to get me to go home. But a couple of days at home wouldn't be too bad, and I could probably convince my mom to let me go by myself.

How wrong I was.

The second I walked in the door, my mom enveloped me in a chokehold hug, and I almost thought she would never let me go. It didn't help that she kept shouting, "Oh, Lyra! I missed you so much! My little girl!" in my ear over and over again—_this_, I thought, _is why everyone should be mute_.

When she finally pulled away from me, still holding onto my shoulders, she smiled. "Lyra, honey. I'm so happy that you finally came home. I've really missed you. I do wish that you had stayed in contact with me more often, but I know how busy you got after you became Champion. Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you!"

She hugged me again, and I patted her awkwardly on the back. Proud, sure.

"I'm making you a big dinner tonight," she assured me, as if this was really what I cared about. "And you can take a long hot bath, too. You definitely need to clean up a little. I can cut your hair, too—it's getting a little long too long. Oh, and I'm sure you can't wait to sleep in your own bed again! I just washed your sheets, so they're nice and warm."

_Mom_, I signed, and she paused.

"I'm sorry, honey, I know I'm rambling. I'm just so happy to see that you're safe and sound. I was very worried about you—especially after you went off by yourself when I specifically told you to go with Ethan." She sighed, and although her grin had faded momentarily, she plastered it back on her face. "In any case, you're back now."

_Mom_, I signed again, finally shrugging her hands off of me. _What about Mt. Silver?_

My mom raised her eyebrows, the smile vanishing yet again. "Mt. Silver? Don't you want to relax a little, honey? There's plenty of time for that later."

I shook my head. _I want to go this week._

There was a flash in my mother's eyes, something that told me that this week wasn't going to be a possibility. Professor Oak must not have gotten everything… he had no clue what my mother would do to keep me around, and I should have known better. I should have known that this trip home wouldn't be a trip at all.

"I have some conditions, Lyra," my mom said, and I froze. "Professor Oak told you that I did not want you going alone, and I stand by that decision. However, in addition to this, I would like you to try meet with some speech therapists before you go. I know you have done wonderfully things even as you are now, but Mt. Silver is the most dangerous location in the country. I don't want to see you get hurt."

_Even as you are now._

I spun around, my lip quivering. I wanted to scream at her, but that would just be giving her what she wanted if I could. And she thought I would get hurt? She didn't know me at all—didn't know what I had been doing the whole time I was gone. My Pokémon protected me, and I was strong enough to save myself, too.

And I certainly didn't need any speech therapists trying to train me like a Growlithe to speak.

_You can't keep me here forever_, I told her, and she gasped. She shouted my name as I turned around and bolted out the door, running to the edge of town and sitting down next to the river. I pulled my knees tightly against me, leaning my face into them like a little ball. It was too bad that I would have to go back eventually.

"She just wants what's best for you, you know."

I raised my head, the familiar voice pulling me back again. When Ethan raised his hand and waved at me, I shot up to my feet, running towards him and wrapping my arms around him. It was so strange… the way you thought that you could be okay without someone, but the second you saw them again, you realized how wrong you were.

Maybe he _was_ better off without me, but I had to admit that I would miss him.

_She wants me to go to speech therapy. You know that it isn't going to work_, I signed, and Ethan frowned.

"Only because you think it won't," he pointed out, and I narrowed my eyes at him. I didn't think he would be one to side with my mom. "Lyra, come on. You've never even tried it. There are all sorts of technologies and practices now that might be able to help. I mean… it wouldn't hurt, would it? What's the worst that could happen?"

The worst? What was the _worst_ that could happen?

Well, for one thing, I didn't need a voice to do what I wanted. That had always been my opinion on the matter, and I was never going to change my mind. So, if I didn't need it, then why would I want it? As they said, "If it's not broke, don't fix it." I wasn't broken, just silent. There was a difference, and I didn't want anyone messing with my voice.

Was this selfish of me? Maybe. But I deserved to be selfish every once in awhile, as did everyone else. And I was adamant about this.

"Listen, if it makes you feel any better, I'll go with you to every one of your sessions. I will sit right next to you if you want, do all the things the doctor asks you to do… whatever you want, Lyra, I'll do." Ethan smiled at me, obviously trying to make me feel better. But I frowned, rolling my eyes at my next thought.

_My mom will probably ask you to accompany me, anyway._

My friend nodded, and the two of us stood awkwardly in the silence that followed. It wasn't often that Ethan was the one to not respond, seeing as he could actually talk, but it was always strange when he was. The thing about people who could actually talk was that when they weren't talking, they were _thinking_—but it was more than thinking. Maybe it was contemplating or something deeper, but it was always obvious.

It could be that when Ethan looked at me, he could always see what I was thinking in my eyes, but whatever Ethan was thinking was invisible to me. The thought was hidden so deep in his mind that it couldn't be read by an outsider, which only made me want to know what he was thinking so deep. More often than not, of course, I would never find out.

"I missed you, you know," he finally said, and the words were light, not as saturated as I believed that thought to be. "You really need to check in more. When was the last time I heard from you? A month ago, maybe?"

I curled my hand and circled it across my chest, managing to force a tiny smile for him.

"Well, just don't keep me in the dark so much." He laughed, shaking his head so slightly that it was barely moving at all. "I sound like your mom. And speaking of her… she told me that Professor Oak made arrangements for you to go to Mt. Silver. You must be pretty excited about that. Must make the speech therapy worth it, huh?"

_We'll see_, I responded, and Ethan flung an arm over my shoulder.

"Yeah. Just give it a bit." He leaned his head against mine, the rim of his hat lifting a little bit. "Maybe you'll find your voice hidden somewhere in you."

I nodded, but deep down, I didn't want to find it at all.

And when I agreed to speech therapy, I didn't. The days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months. Mt. Silver was a distant memory, something barely there anymore, but I had one more important thing to worry about: stopping myself from finding my voice.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Ah, and everything comes full circle.

One thing that I really wanted to emphasize in this chapter was her cockiness; in general, Lyra is extremely snooty in the "past" chapters, and I think the difference between this and chapter nine's present scene is really potent. Lyra sort of has this strong mentality that she can do anything she wants and no one should be able to stop her—which is great, but she goes a little overboard, haha.

Anyway, the next chapter will be the last! Can you believe it? I did say that this fanfiction would be pretty short compared to my others. Still, took me a long time to complete it.

Enjoy!


	11. 11 Present

**Chapter Eleven: Present**

Ugh. My head… no, my knee… no, _everything_ hurt.

I made the stupid decision to try sitting up, which I quickly gave up when sharper pain shot through my body, moving rapidly from my head to my feet. I collapsed upon my pillow again, blinking slowly to acquaint my eyes with the light. When I could finally open my eyes without issue, I looked around.

A hospital room. How had I gotten here?

Right, I had almost forgotten—Ethan must have brought me here. The last thing I remembered was him finding me in Mt. Silver, though I had no idea how. I didn't even recall leaving the mountain, and I certainly didn't recall coming here. How long had I been blacked out for? How long had any of this been going on?

"Oh, _Lyra_… thank goodness."

I moved only my gaze, refusing to try moving anything else again for awhile, and saw my mother out of the corner of my eye. She jumped to her feet, walking closer to me and brushing my hair out of my eyes. There were gray circles under her eyes, making it look like she hadn't slept in awhile. I supposed I knew why.

"I was so, _so_ worried. I thought you had gone camping, but then I saw Ethan—I didn't know where you had gone, after all—but Ethan told me you had run away to Mt. Silver. Of course I was worried, Lyra, so, _so_ worried. I called the police to track you down, but they said they couldn't look during nightfall—and they were skeptical, too… you know, because of the missing Kanto Champion on Mt. Silver. They thought maybe—"

I managed to hold my left hand out in front of me palm up, slamming my right hand onto it as if cutting something. The sign was an appropriate one, seeing as I was cutting my own mother off just to get her to stop. When she stared at me with wide eyes, I made the sign again, slower this time because I couldn't force myself to do it any faster.

I didn't notice my own tears until my mom reached a hand out and brushed them away with her thumb. A second later, she was crying, too, and she brushed my hair out of my eyes once again—just like a mother was supposed to do. _Worry_, like a mother was supposed to do. I had been so stupid, so cruel.

But then, Red had left his mom—all of his friends—too. Why?

I was just like the missing Champion of Kanto, after all. I wasn't anywhere near the person I convinced myself existed. I had been the one to hold myself up on a pedestal all this time, and the fall from grace had been long and hard. My body and my mind had taken the toll for that—I deserved this lesson and this pain.

"Lyra, I—"

"Oh, excellent, the young lady is awake. How are you feeling?"

A middle-aged man, perhaps the same age as my mom, walked into the room and smiled at me. As evident by his white coat, he had to be the doctor. Based on his cheery tone, however, it wasn't obvious that he was the one who had spoken. His lips looked as though they were permanently twisted into a frown, and his eyebrows were so low that he might as well have been furrowing them.

I shook my head just a little, realizing quickly that this was the only way I could do so. My neck was strained, as though I had pulled several muscles. Apparently my trip to Mt. Silver had been a lot more stressful on my body than I had ever planned.

"I figured as much." The doctor reached forward, sliding a stethoscope across my chest. "I was told that several of Mt. Silver's caverns collapsed—you were lucky that nothing worse happened to you. You just have a few bruised muscles, and you'll be sore for a little while. You will also have to wear a leg brace for your knee and use crutches for four to six weeks while it recovers from a sprain. I also want you to drink more fluids, as you were showing the beginning symptoms of dehydration."

I nodded a little, and my mother rubbed my shoulder. All that just from this one trip? How had Red survived all that time without any complications like this?

"I want you to get some more rest, but I am planning on discharging you tonight." The corners of the doctor's lips moved upward a little, perhaps in an attempt to smile, but now it just looked like he was grimacing. "I'm going to ask that she is not disturbed while she rests. However, if you need anything, just press the call button on the side of your bed for a nurse."

The doctor shook my mom's hand before exiting the room. My mom rose to her feet a second later, but I grabbed her arm to stop her. _Where are my Pokémon?_ I asked, my movements slow and jagged.

"Don't worry, honey. Ethan took them to a Pokémon Center and got them all healed up for you. They're waiting for you at home." She smiled, leaning down to kiss my forehead. "I love you, Lyra."

She didn't wait for me to say it back, since I very rarely did, but as she walked out of the room, I held up my index finger, pinky, and thumb to her. I was still bitter—that was something that was built into my coding, perhaps. Still, she was my mom. I had to give her something, at least, even if it wasn't much.

I closed my eyes, not realizing how heavy my eyelids were until my eyes were shut. How I could have been unconscious for so long and still be tired, I wasn't sure. But the second my eyelids touched, I felt myself drifting off into the dreamland again—at least until I heard my best friend's voice in the hallway.

"How is she?"

"All right—tired, I think, and she definitely looked sore," my mother's voice responded, and I opened my eyes again. Ethan was here? Why didn't he come into the room? "You should have seen her face when I told her that her Pokémon were all right, though. It was like all of that pain just vanished."

"She cares a lot about them."

"I have to thank you, Ethan. Without you, I may have never seen my little girl again." My mom sniffled, and I thought about her tearing up in my room just moments ago with me. "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't found her, which—by the way—makes me a little curious. How did you know where to find her?"

I pushed myself up just a little, wishing he would just come inside and tell me, too.

"She told me she was going to Mt. Silver… and I knew she was going to find Red—that Champion from Kanto. I don't know much about the guy, but if he's as tough as everyone says he is, I knew he would be in the place where he would be subject to the most extreme conditions. So, I headed for the summit. With that direction in mind, I just had my Pokémon track her scent. It was hard since the caves had collapsed, but…" He paused, and I almost thought he wasn't going to finish. "I would do anything to find her."

Silence followed this comment, and I swallowed. To think that I wouldn't even be here without Ethan… I would be _dead_ if he hadn't found me, and I had been so mean to him before I left.

"Well, she'll never be put in that kind of danger again," my mom said. "I'll never let her out of my sight again."

"No!" Ethan shouted in a firm and adamant tone, and even I jumped. I could picture my mother's eyebrows shooting up, never having suspected Ethan to use that sort of tone against her. "Sorry. I just… I know why Lyra left in the first place—I know why she's _always_ left. She just wants her freedom, and the more you hold on, the more she wants to break away. You're not doing her any favors by keeping her here. She needs to move on someday."

Yes, I had been so mean to him—all because I didn't think he understood why I needed to go to Mt. Silver in the first place. But he always understood. Sure, he didn't think it was smart, and it definitely wasn't—but he still knew why I had to go. And he knew that I would have to leave again. He always understood that.

"This is something that Lyra and I will need to discuss later, then," my mom responded in a low, warning tone.

I realized that after this disaster, my mom would want to hold on even more tightly. But for the first time, I couldn't really blame her. I didn't know what it was like to be a mother, nor did I know what it was like to have a daughter who was mute, but I knew that she just wanted me to be safe. I always thought that her holding me back was like a prison sentence, but I was starting to understand that it was just her way of showing that she cared.

Ethan was still right, of course. I couldn't blame my mom, but I didn't want to stay here forever. Part of growing up was taking risks and making mistakes. This had been the biggest mistake I had ever made, and maybe I regretted it—but I needed it. Sometimes lessons were hard and painful, but they were necessary all the same. I would never make this mistake again, never disregard my friends and family. I would hold onto what I had.

"Just… just listen to me," Ethan whispered, his voice barely making its way through my door. "The only thing Lyra has ever wanted was acceptance. She won't admit it, but she just wants people to like her as she is. And in order for her to feel accepted, you're going to have to let her go. She's not going to feel that way until you _accept_ that she is how she is."

"I've always accepted her," my mom shot back, her voice much harder than Ethan's.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound rude, but no, you haven't." I pushed myself even further up, the pain stretching again, but I couldn't believe Ethan was talking to my mom like this. It was brilliant. "I know you love her and want to protect her, but you haven't accepted her as someone who is mute. You have hung onto her and tried so hard to get her to talk, but you've missed so much of her because of that. You've been so obsessed with trying to fix her that you never noticed how much she just wants to be free."

I collapsed back down against the bed, my eyes wandering around the room as a way to fight back tears. I couldn't believe it. Ethan knew _everything_.

I didn't know what happened—if someone got angry and walked away or if they just left the hallway to talk somewhere else—but the conversation subsided after his comment. There was only one thing sitting in the back of my head, a little voice that flashed as words rather than spoke, and for the first time since I climbed up that mountain, I smiled. It was enough to lull me gently back to sleep, a sweet lullaby that pulled me back to unconsciousness.

* * *

It was a familiar spot—somewhere I went when I needed to get out of the house. I had been here many times, found solace here. It was on the edge of New Bark Town by the river, the spot I often came to in a rage; tonight, I came in peace. And when I pulled off my shoes and socks, removed my knee brace, and dipped my legs in the water, I felt it.

"Where are you going next?"

I looked up, watching as Ethan took a seat beside me. He always knew the right time to show up—never too late, and always when I needed him most. But the thing was, I hadn't spoken to him since he rescued me from Mt. Silver. Even though I heard him at the hospital, he never stopped by my room, and he hadn't seen him in the week since. I thought he was avoiding me, which was weird considering all of the things I had heard him say about me.

_I think I'm going to stay here for awhile_, I told him as he pulled off his own shoes and put his feet in the river, all the while watching my hands.

"You? No way. I don't believe that for a minute." He grinned, a simple sign that nothing unusual had happened between us, but _I_ didn't believe _that_ for a minute, either. When I looked away, he sighed. "It's okay to be scared. I know it must have been awful being stuck in that cave without knowing if anyone would ever find you."

_It's not that_, I signed. _I guess… _I paused, resting my hands on my lap for a minute before continuing. It was hard to put into words, and I couldn't even articulate it the same way other people could. _I'm a little embarrassed. I was really wrong. Red was nothing like what I thought, and I got my hopes up in thinking that he would understand me. In the end, he didn't, and I looked like an idiot. So, you were right. My mom was right. It's just better if I stay here._

"Well, that doesn't sound like you, either, to be honest, and I don't buy that bullshit for a minute," Ethan snapped, and I raised my eyebrows in surprise at his assertiveness. When had this happened? "I have to admit, I was really angry with you when you left like that. Not only was it careless, but it was selfish, too. So, I told your mom where you went, and that was that. I wasn't even going to go after you."

_But you did_, I replied, and he nodded.

"Because I realized that that wasn't me. I'm not the guy who can stay mad at someone, and I never could have stayed angry at you." He looked out at the river, kicking his feet in the water. "So, I went after you."

I didn't really get what he was saying. What did this have anything to do with me choosing to stay behind? I had my reasons, and I told them to Ethan. I was embarrassed, and I deserved to remain here for awhile. That was it. If he thought that was bullshit, fine, then it was bullshit. But to me, this was the price I had to pay.

"I've known you for a long time, Lyra. You're not one to just sit back and let everyone else do their thing and leave you behind—just like I'm not the type of guy to hold a grudge." He pulled at a piece of grass, throwing it into the river and watching it wade past us. "So, when you say that you want to stay here, I don't believe it. You're itching to get out there again."

Well, he was always right, wasn't he? Of _course_ I wanted to go. But, like I said, I had my reasons for staying.

I remained still, my hands resting behind me and propping me up. There was one other reason why I didn't plan on leaving any time soon, but Ethan didn't need to know about that just yet, especially considering the weirdness going on between us.

_I never thanked you for finding me, by the way,_ I finally said, and he rolled his eyes. _I'm serious. You saved my life, Ethan. I wouldn't be here if you didn't come get me. And I was a complete jerk to you. You're right, I was selfish. But I shouldn't have treated you like crap. Especially you, Ethan. That's not me either. I never wanted to hurt you. I was just… I needed to go alone to find out for myself._

Ethan raised his eyebrows, asking, "But Red wasn't who you expected him to be?"

I rolled my eyes, laughing the best I could without a voice to back it up. _Hell no. He wasn't the one._

"I know this sounds really stupid, but that makes me pretty happy." He smiled, rubbing his hands together and blowing on them. It was starting to get cold as the sun began to set. "I was jealous. You were so obsessed with meeting Red, and you were so quick to leave me behind. So… you know, I'm kind of glad that he wasn't your hero or anything."

I swallowed. Jealous? Really?

It was like Christmas or something.

"Not," he added quickly, "that I'm happy that he hurt your feelings. That must have been pretty rough, and I'll hate him forever for that."

_I thought you said you don't hold grudges_, I pointed out, and he laughed.

"Well, that's a different story." He pulled his feet out from the water, not even waiting for them to dry before struggling to pull on his socks and shoes. "Come on, it's getting kind of cold. Let's go back. We can watch a movie or something. Azumarrill really wants to see Typhlosion, anyway. It would be a good chance to hang out."

He stood up, and I didn't hesitate to grab his hand when he held it out toward me. The two of us stood close, our cool hands still together, but he was the first one to pull away. I bent down to grab my shoes, my heart pounding from what I convinced myself was the cold. Of course I knew better about that, too.

I knew he wasn't looking at me, but I signed his name anyway, circling it around my heart. I didn't know how long I had known for—maybe forever, maybe just recently. He was my first friend, the first person outside my family to learn sign language for me, and he was the one to rescue me when I needed him most.

But he was also the most _normal_ thing in my life, so I shunned him. It had once been my goal to achieve normalcy, but when I determined that even that was unlikely for me—acceptable, of course, considering I had thought myself far better than normal at the time—I left that behind. I left _him_ behind. He was constant, a reminder of home, so I forgot about him, too.

I had been convinced that he didn't understand, that he _couldn't_ understand because he was someone from my home like. Yet that conversation I had overheard between my mom and him proved to me that he always understood. It wasn't Red—Red was never the one. It had always been Ethan who was right by my side.

So, it was only natural that I would fall for him, whether I realized it or not.

I had a feeling—a hunch—that he felt the same way ever since that day in the hospital. _She's not going to feel that way until you _accept_ that she is how she is_, he had told my mother. He had always accepted this, even more than I had accepted it. I wanted to find someone like me, but the whole time, he was the only person to whom I could relate. If this was so, he had to feel something, too.

"Yeah?"

I jumped, lowering my hand. I hadn't realized that I had been signing his name repeatedly, and I blushed. _Nothing. Thank you for helping me. And I'm so sorry for hurting you, too—_

He grabbed my hands, cutting me off and pulling him closer to me. "You didn't, Lyra. Don't even worry about it, got it? You're the one who was hurt in all this, and I'm sorry for that. But don't you think for a second that this is about me, okay?"

I stared at him, seeing as it was the only thing I could do with him holding my hands like that. Now was the time, Lyra… now was the only chance—if I wanted to say anything, I could say it with my mouth for once instead of my hands.

So, I stood up on my toes and brushed my lips against his. It was a second later that he dropped my hands and moved his to my face, holding me against him and kissing me back more fervently than I ever expected. I was right, after all. He _did_ feel something, too. All this time, we had been so close, and no one ever even knew.

"Come on," he said when we finally stepped away from each other. He held his hand out toward me, and it didn't take long for me to grab it. "You're going away soon, so we should spend as much time together as we can before you do. I just got a movie you'll love."

I pulled him back, managing to slip my hand out of his. _Wait, wait. Where am I going again?_

Ethan shrugged. "Wherever you want, I suppose. We both know you're meant to be anywhere but here."

I smiled and shook my head—how wrong he was, and how wrong I had been. At one time, this was a true statement, and it still was a partial truth. But there was something enlightening about all of this, something that gave pure clarity. True, I needed to go. He had been right all along, no matter what my reasons to stay were. But there was still that _one reason_ holding me back.

Him.

_I'll go wherever you go. I won't leave you behind again. You're the one who always understood me,_ I signed. His cheeks flushed, but he couldn't manage to hide a smile.

Then, leaning towards me, he put his lips to my ear. "You better heal that knee of yours up, then," he whispered. "We've got a lot of traveling ahead of us."

No one could tell where we might go or what we might say. But one thing was certain: Ethan had always been my voice, and he would always be there to keep me from being speechless.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So, it's been about a year and a half since I put the first chapter up, and the story is finally complete. I can't say I'm pleased with that completion time, and I know it probably cost me a lot of readers. However, I hope that the quality of this fanfiction was everything you hoped it would be. If not, I welcome suggestions for how I could have improved this.

The synopsis for this story reads: "Lyra has never spoken a word in her life. Though she's never felt it a handicap, she hates the 'test' that everyone forces her through. There's only ever been one person who understands—one person who believes she has a voice even if she can't use it."

In the first few chapters, I wanted to lead readers to believe it was Red. But, in actuality, it was Ethan all along. How many of you saw that coming, hmm? ;)

Anyway, that's it for this story! I hope you all enjoyed it, and I will see you all in about a month when NaNoWriMo is over.


End file.
